Insane
by JacobsBeyondSortOfBeautiful
Summary: Jake is hurting over Bella. Leah is hurting over Sam. As they each hit their breaking points Leah finds the answer to all of their problems. Or is it the opening of a whole new can of worms?Lemons!
1. Chapter 1

"What did you just say?"

He was completely shocked and surprised. So was I. I couldn't believe I actually said that. And then I said it again.

"Jake, I need you to fuck me."

I don't know what I was thinking. Or even if I was thinking at all. Or when it was exactly that I stopped thinking. Lord knows I wasn't being rational. But I was being driven _past_ rationality these days. I was being driven crazy.

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><p>Sam had hurt me. That was common knowledge. But the day I phased for the first time and was brought into this new world of werewolves was the day that Sam was forced back into my life. I could deal with the heart break. But I couldn't live with it. Not making sense? Let me clarify. I can handle the fact that Sam cheated on me. Then left me. For my cousin. Maybe one day I could have gotten on with my life and even learned to tolerate them. Maybe even like them again. No, that's a bit far fetched it would be a cold day in hell before liked one of them again. But I <em>could<em> deal with it as long as they stayed away from me. I can't live with it. Being forced into this new life with Sam as my Alpha. Being tied to him. Having constant access to his thoughts while he always let his mind wander to my home wrecking bitch of a cousin. It hurts. And there are no words that I could sit here and spew out to you that could even help you to understand a fraction of how I feel. Nobody knows what this is like. Except Jacob.

When I wasn't haunted by Sam and Emily, I was bombarded by thoughts of the leech chaser. Stupid ass Bella Swan: the ache in Jacob's heart. If I wasn't dealing with my own sorrow, I had Sam's guilt, and Jacob's pain crashing down on me too. I just can't get away.

But that's not what brought me here now. Jake and I had something in common today. We each hit our breaking points. I phased earlier. The guys chose to hang at my house today and they're all so insufferable, making wise-cracks and putting me at the butt of their jokes. Paul in particular pushed one of my many buttons. He's not exactly known to be considerate of anyone else's feelings. He made me so mad I had to phase. So I left the house and ran. Once I phased I was instantly greeted with the conversation Sam was replaying in his mind that he had with Emily earlier. There was talk of a wedding, and eternal commitment, and babies. The conversation seemed all too familiar as I remembered having one just like it with Sam myself. And as I reflected on once upon a time it interfered with Sam's thoughts of happily ever after.

_Oh God, Leah. I didn't know you were phased. I'm sorry. We wanted to tell you, but not like this. _Sam's voice entered my mind.

_There's nothing to apologize for. I'm fine. I'll just go._

_Lee Lee, wait._

_Please don't call me that._

_Look, don't go. There's something we wanted to ask you._

_What?_

_Emily and I still love you. Very much. That will never change. And we hope you still care for us too. I know we must make it hard for you every day. But you've got to know we care about you so much._

_That doesn't sound like much of a question._ I tried to seem indifferent although his every word stuck to my heart like pins. It was painful.

_Well we wanted to ask you to be apart of our wedding. And even more, Emily wants you to be her maid of honor._

And that's when I was swallowed by the waves of a whole new heartbreak. Wave 1: They were actually getting married. Wave 2: They wanted me to witness it. Wave 3: They wanted me to be apart of it. Wave 4: I realized that neither of them could have ever given a damn about me to begin with.

_You're kidding right?_ I responded flatly.

_Please don't be this way. Emily misses you so much it's hurting her. It would kill her if you turned her down. She just wants to be close to you again. We both do. I would love to have your support on our big day._

_It would kill her? Sam I don't even think you know the shit that you're spewing into my mind right now. I don't see how I'm supposed to know how much you care about me. You cheated on me with my cousin and now you want me to stand next to the two of you and watch you vow your life to her? You already promised to love me for the rest of my life. You already promised to stick by me, no matter what. And now you wan't me to stand in the middle of it having it confirmed before me that none of anything you ever promised me meant shit to you. No Sam, I can't do that. How could you even ask me for something like that. I'm sorry if it will kill her. Consider it payback. She killed me a long time ago and you pissed on the remains._

_Lee Lee don't -_

_I said _don't_ call me that. That nick name is for those who love me. I'm out of here._ And with that I phased. I couldn't even dress myself after. I just cried like an idiot. I swore that Sam wasn't worth my tears and there I was just pouring them out in his honor. Pathetic, Leah. So I cried myself to sleep on the forest floor and when I woke up It was nearly sunset. I internally cursed myself for letting Sam do this to me. There I was in the middle of the forest. Crying. Alone. Sore. Naked. I spend each and every day trying to prove to the world that I am stronger than this. And this is how I ended up. Weak.

But even that alone wasn't what brought me where I am. After I woke up I decided to get back home and shower all this shit away. Sam, Emily, weddings, heartbreaks, and forest dirt. I would wash it all down the drain. But as soon as I phased I was thrown into the whirlwind that was Jacob Black's mind. It was all too much for him. He kissed Bella earlier today and she punched him. Furthermore she told him that she's always gonna love her leech. She never felt a thing for him and she wasn't ever going to. He's hurting. I can feel it. He's devastated and heartbroken. Not at all different from me. And I guess now that I gave you a recap I can say that this was more than likely the point in time where I stopped thinking and chose to go the insane route.

Before I knew it I was showered, dressed, and watching Jake beat the shit out of his punching bag that hung in his garage. I came here to talk. To see if we could make each other feel better. Bur watching him go at it the way he was. With his shirt off and muscles rippling. The sweat was gleaming on his skin. His back faced me. And damn did he have a sexy back. Everything about him right now was letting me know that Jake was no longer one of my brother's little friends, but he was a man now. And it's been so long since I've had a man. I mean he was enraged and completely pulverizing that punching bag. No boxing gloves necessary. I felt my body grow warmer than natural and soon after I began to moisten at the thought of his savage hands on me. That's when he smelled me.

He stopped attacking the bag and sniffed the air around him.

"Leah, is that you?" he called out.

"Aw man, ya caught me," I tried to start playfully as I crossed the threshold into his garage.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded clearly not in the mood for jokes.

I didn't really know the best way to say it. So, figuring I had nothing to lose, I kind of just let it out.

"I need you to fuck me."

There was a short pause.

"What did you just say?"

"Jake, I need you to fuck me."

I read the confusion all over his face. He didn't know what to say or how to say it. So he told me to get out.

"I don't know what game you're playing, but leave me out of it."

"I'm not going anywhere until you give me what I need."

"Are you really at my house demanding that I have sex with you? I'm not gonna do it. Get the fuck out!" He grabbed me roughly by the arms and tried to make me move toward the door. The force of his hands on me made me pool at the center. He smelled it again.

"Why do you smell like that?" He asked. He released me as my scent was clearly affecting him. At the end of the day we're all a bunch of hormone challenged animals. He wouldn't be able to fight his animal instinct for much longer.

"I smell like this because I'm a woman."

"You've always been a woman. Your scent is different now," he pushed.

That's when it dawned on me that Jacob Black was still a virgin. He didn't know what a woman in heat smelled like. That turned me on even further. I would be the one to take his innocence.

"I smell like this because you've got me horny. And I need you now."

He gulped hard.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked in a more defeated tone.

"Because you're a man now. And you need to stop chasing silly little girls when you've got a real woman at your disposal. What if I told you I could make you forget all about little Bella Swan?"

"You can?"

I nodded my head.

"And you can help me deal with this Sam situation. We both win"

His face flushed with sudden anger.

"That's why you're here. You don't want me. You want Sam. You're not gonna use me to fulfill some sick fantasy you've got for him. Hell no! Go find one of the other guys."

He made to go back to attack his punching bag. But this time it was my hands on him forcing him not to move.

"After you've smelled me, do you honestly think you could handle me taking this to another man? Think about what you just told me to do. What if I just went over to see Paul or Jared. Right now. Feeling the way I'm feeling. Can you stomach the thought of either of them with their hands all over me? What about both of them at the same time?"

I was on a roll here. I knew more about the male wolf psyche than our rightful Alpha. He knew everything I said was true. The alpha male in him could never let another man have me now that he's had my scent and he knows that he caused this in me.

His face tensed with a new rage. I was his alone to possess. He would kill the next man who touched me. I could read all of this in his eyes. Sam was the same way.

I stayed quiet the next few moments to give him some time to process his own thoughts.

"Would it really help me forget about Bella?" he asked sadly.

"Baby when I'm done with you, you'll never want another girl again." And that's when I kissed him. I took him by the neck and pulled him into a searing kiss. He didn't resist me. He couldn't. He just stood there and let me kiss him.

"Follow your instincts." I said as I placed his large, rough hands on my hips and continued to kiss him. He pulled me closer so that my body pressed into his hard on and he groaned softly at the contact. He pulled away from our kiss to take a second to breathe.

"I've never done this before," he stated shyly.

"I know."

His cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

I smiled at him.

"Take me to your bedroom, Alpha."

"I'm not Alpha," he said dumbly.

"Not yet. But I'll make one out of you."

That's when he took my hand and led me to his room.

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><p><strong>One of my first real attempts at writing citrus. Some hot stuff coming up. I'll update more if I get good feedback. You be nice to me. and I'll be nice to you. *wink wink*<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

When we were safely to his room I wasted no time and started to kiss him again, pushing him against the wall. He assumed our previous position and pulled me hard onto his growing bulge. Our kisses turned into a steamy make out and our tongues were fighting each other for dominance. I may have been in control, but his blood runs strong and he would fight for his dominance. I obliged him just so I could see what he was working with.

He took control of our kiss and my knees instantly buckled. He was making my mind all fuzzy with the way he was rocking my hips from side to side against his erection. His strong hands kept my legs from folding and he supported my weight easily. He let himself get carried away as his male dominance over me gave him more and more confidence. He hoisted me up in one swift motion, wrapping my legs around his waist, and turning to put me against the wall now. His lips never left mine. I underestimated him. I would have never thought in a million years that Jacob Black would make me feel this way. I wanted to give him every inch of me. And the way he pushed his bulge harder between my legs told me that he wanted to give me all of his many inches too.

I was breathing hard, trying to stay conscious as desire threatened to overtake me. It was so difficult. Jake would groan into our kiss every few moments or so which turned me the fuck on. I couldn't take the torture.

"Bed." I said as I broke our kiss. He carried me over and set me on his bed gently. His bulge was directly in my face. I licked my lips in anticipation.

"How far have you actually gone?" I asked out of curiosity.

His cheeks flushed again and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Well a girl at school let me feel her up under her shirt."

"With a bra on?"

"Yeah, her bra was on."

"And how was it, Jake?" I asked genuinely curious about what he likes.

"It was great," he said shyly.

"Were her breasts as big as mine?" I asked teasingly as I lifted my shirt off to match his already topless body and to reveal my breasts to him.

He gulped hard and shook his head, eyes glued to the way my breasts bounced as my shirt came off.

"Did she touch you too?"

He nodded.

"Where did she touch my Alpha?" I could get used to calling him that. Mine.

"My . . . she touched my . . ."

"Shhh," I said. He was nervous. It was my job to make him comfortable, even though it made me feel great to see what I was doing to him. "Let me guess."

"Did she touch you here?" I asked running my hands all over his hard chest. He nodded. "Here?" I felt the contours of his perfectly sculpted abs. He nodded. "And here?" I was cupping his hard on, touching it for the very first time. My mouth salivated at the thought of sucking him dry. He nodded as he sucked the air in and winced at the pleasure he felt as I massaged and rubbed it through his jeans. "And how did that feel?" I asked.

"Not like this," he said as he closed his eyes.

He put me in full predator mode once he said that. I got on my knees so that our faces were level as he continued to stand in front of me. I kissed him harder than before. This time nibbling his tongue and biting his lips. I wouldn't have thought it were possible for him to grow even harder if I hadn't felt it in my hand. I unbuttoned his jeans and helped him slide them down to free him from the way they were suffocating and restricting him. He was standing at full attention and all I did was touch him over his jeans. That made me so fucking hot. I needed to feel him. I grabbed both his hands and planted them forcefully on my breasts.

"Don't be afraid to touch me," I said between kisses. "I want you all over me."

And I was pleasantly surprised as he ripped my bra off of me and took one of my breasts in his mouth in response to what I just told him. He sucked my nipple to erection and the other one grew hard against his fingers as he pinched it. I let a moan slip out and threw my head back in pleasure, the river between my legs flowing into an ocean. As I moistened the scent assaulted his nose.

"Leah, you smell so fucking good." He kissed a trail from my nipple and down my stomach. My skin burned like fire wherever he kissed. He removed my shorts and panties in one motion. I could see the primal instinct in his eyes. He had me fully naked on his bed and looked at me like he knew exactly what to do. And he did. He pushed me down on my back and pulled me close to the edge of his bed. Without warning he dipped his head and lost himself between my legs.

I would have never expected him to take charge like that but I sure as hell would not complain. His hot breath on my clit sent my head spinning in all directions. He began to kiss it and believe it or not he made me even wetter; which made him moan onto me. The humming of his moan vibrated onto my clit and I began to moan myself. Then he started to suck on it. My hands found his head immediately. He dipped down further and proceeded to lick me all over. The way he worked his tongue sent shockwaves all through my body and I moaned louder. As he dipped his tongue in and out of me my hand found its way down there with him and I began to rub my own clit. I drew circles onto it and rubbed it hard. After a few more moments my legs began to quake and with a scream I came hard in his mouth. I continued to swirl my fingers around my clit. I don't think he realized that I was doing it before because he was so focused on doing what he was doing and doing it right. Did that make sense?

"Did I give you an orgasm?" he asked as he wiped my fluids off of his mouth.

"That was the first one. Keep doing so well and I can guarantee you four more. Where the hell did you learn how to do that, Black?"

He shrugged. "I get the instant replay from the guys. Pack mind. You make much better sounds than the girls they go down on. And you're so much hotter. You're driving me crazy over here."

"Yeah?" I said teasingly as I opened my legs wide so he could see that I was still touching myself.

He groaned deep. "Leahhhh."

"Grab yours. You watch me, I'll watch you," I told him.

He did as I told him.

"Stroke it slowly. Match my pace," I said as I put one of my own fingers inside of me. We masturbated at even paces. I wanted to explore every sexual territory possible with Jake. I needed to make sure that what he gets from me is so good he'll never go looking elsewhere. I moaned his name for good measure.

"Jacobbb."

He growled in response. "Go faster," he commanded. I obliged eagerly.

"Put another finger in." Another command.

"And use your other hand to do what you were doing before. Rub it." He ordered. Jacob the Virgin may have been inexperienced, but he knew exactly what he wanted. I was ready and willing to do anything he wanted to watch me do. I'm starting to learn that I love it when he asserts himself. He's a great counterpart to my dominating sexual personality. I was loving this. He stroked his dick hard and strong in front of me. It was so sexy. I continued to moan and call his name. I pumped my fingers in and out of myself hard and fast and steady. His eyes never moved from my ministrations.

"Leah, you're so fucking sexy." His hoarse tone was driving me toward my limit. It was all too much at once. I came two seconds later. The scent of it drove him mad. He launched himself on top of me and began to kiss and touch me everywhere. As if he needed every part of me at once.

"Let's switch jobs," I breathed into his ear. I didn't wait for his response before I forcefully took his massive cock into my hands and began to stroke him hard. He growled fiercely into my neck and bit it, reminding me that he was more of an animal than I thought. I loved it. He slid two of his fingers into my wet center and began to feel around in search of something. I didn't know what he was looking for until he found it. He pumped in and out of me making sure he hit my G-Spot with each movement.

"Is that the G-Spot?" he asked. I guess he wanted to be sure of himself. I couldn't answer him through my moans though. He took them as confirmation that he was doing it right.

"Fuckkk Jakeee!"

"Is that good, Lee?" He knew it was good. It was fucking great. He just wanted to hear me more.

"Yes!"

Sam never hit my G-Spot when he fingered me. And I could never do it myself. This was bliss.

He pumped his hand harder and further into my dripping cunt and I tried the best I could to keep stroking him. But my mind was getting that fuzzy feeling again. And within the next few seconds I soaked his entire hand with my next orgasm.

"That's three," he said smugly. Honestly, I couldn't even understand how he wasn't in agonizing discomfort at the fact that he hadn't cum yet. Sam never lasted this long. It was my turn to give him an orgasm now.

I took his hand that was drenched in my fluids and put his fingers into my mouth, sucking the juices off him. That wiped the smug smirk right off his face.

I swirled my tongue around his fingers, leaving nothing to the imagination about what was coming next.

I began to stroke him again. He closed his eyes, no doubt imagining that I would replace his fingers with his dick. That's where he surprised me yet again. He removed his hand and pushed my head and mouth onto his ever ready cock.

"Ffffuckk!" He slipped out as he felt my mouth wrap around him. He was getting his first blowjob, and it was from me. This was probably the best moment of his life.

He used both hands to fist my hair as I sucked him hard and fast. I tried to fit all of him in my mouth but he was too big. I fit the most that I could though. He still loved it. His moans and groans and growls would not stop. After his left leg twitched a few times he shot his hot load into my mouth. I hopped off of the bed and ran over to his garbage can and spit it out. I may be kinky, but I don't swallow. I wiped my mouth with the back of my arm.

"Wow." Was all he could come up with as he let himself fall back onto his bed, panting erratically.

"How was it?" I asked him playfully.

"My first orgasm that I didn't give myself. With the sexiest girl on the rez. It was a blowjob. Is there even a word to describe that?"

I giggled like a school girl. He knew how to make a girl feel special.

"Amazing, wonderful, spectacular. Those are a few."

"Nah, they wouldn't do you justice."

I smiled at him. Was he charming me?

"So I owe you two more," he stated looking at me. He held his hand out for me to take. I was still across the room at his garbage can. I stepped over to him and took it. I leaned in to kiss him, but he stopped me.

"Wait a minute, Lee."

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm still a virgin. And I don't want to sound like a pansy or anything, but I did plan on having sex with the girl I love. Seeing as that's never going to happen-"

"What you've got to settle for me?" I snapped with acid in my voice, turning my back to him and releasing his hand.

"Hey, don't do that. Come here," He said pulling me to stand closer to him. "You took me by complete surprise. If anyone is being used, it's me. But I wanted to tell you that I'm all in. You're really cool. And we've already done so much. I liked every minute of having you here with me. But when it comes to us going all the way, I need you to let me take control. I don't need you dominating me, or playing naughty wolf okay?" We both chuckled at that. "Just let me do this my way. And if I'm horrible at it, then you can tell me what to work on."

"I guess that's fair. I can do that."

"You really are beautiful," he said. I could feel his sincerity. It made me slightly uncomfortable, though I don't know why. He buried his face into my bare stomach as if that would reinforce his words. He placed soft kisses all over it.

He pulled me down on the bed next to him and laid me on my back. He kissed me on the cheek, on my jaw, my chin. Sweet, sweet kisses. They were too sweet. All I could think of was how great Jacob was and that he really did deserve to be in love with the girl who took his virginity. He deserved better than me. He's right about me using him. I came here to use him and then convinced him it was perfectly okay. I played on his heartbreak, used his own dysfunctions, the whole wolf thing, against him. How could I have been so selfish?

"Jake, stop," I said just before he kissed my lips.

"Whats wrong?"

"This. This is horribly wrong. I'm wrong. I can't do this I'm sorry."

"What? But you said-"

"Fuck what I said and listen to what I'm saying now. This isn't happening anymore." I found my clothes and put them back on.

"Wow. You've got issues."

"As long as you understand that. Later Black."

I left his room and closed the door behind me. I let out the breath I was holding in and composed myself before I descended down the staircase. I held the tears back. I wouldn't cry twice in one day over two different men.

I know how confused I must have made you. Let me properly introduce myself. I am Leah Clearwater: poison to everything around me. I ruin everything I come into contact with. And when I say ruin, I mean I completely fuck things up. You may hate me already, it's cool. Everyone does. If you don't hate me now, you'll hate me soon. I guess I made one hell of a first impression. But there's not much I can do for you about that.

And after everything that just happened with Jacob, it's safe to say I'm insane.

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><p><strong>So this was definitely not the direction I was headed when I first started this. I just wanted to get my first lemon fic over with and out the way in a two shot. But a reviewer got to me. She said that the way Leah was treating him was horrible and he didn't deserve that. And you guys know how I love Jake, so I decided to save his virtue and his first time will be done the right way. So don't blame me for this chap, blame it on the reviewer who changed my mind. Lol! But this brings us good news. I've got a whole story to cook up with an actual plot and more lemons. So now you have something to look forward to. <strong>

**Continue with the feedback and please, let me know what you would like to see happen. As you can see, I actually listen to my readers. I appreciate each and every person who takes the time to review.**


	3. Chapter 3

I started walking home instead of phasing and running. I could use twenty five minutes of fresh air and the night sky. I still really can't believe what just happened. What came over me? And after everything we did I can't believe I just backed out.

I never usually set out with bad intentions. I don't like to hurt people, use them, or manipulate them. That was never me. But it seems today I've given another few reasons to add to the list of "Why Leah Is The Scum Of The Earth." I do feel bad about it. But the past has past. I'll just stay away from Jake as best I can.

I made the walk in twenty minutes and unlocked my front door. At that moment three things happened. One: I walked in to find the entire pack - minus Jake, plus Emily, Billy, and Charlie - spread between my kitchen, dining room, and living room. Two: the entire pack raised their head in alert and sniffed the air around them. Three: it looks like Sam has a case of the Shakes. Everyone was staring at me, except Charlie who didn't find anything wrong with me walking into my own house.

Emily inched a few paces away from Sam. I guess Scarface learned to stay back from the last time she was standing just a little too close to Sam. I'd pay my life savings for him to slip up around her again, maybe he'd get it right next time and actually kill her. That was a joke. I don't want her to die, maybe I just want to see her paralyzed for the rest of her life. You see? I'm crazy! Damn I hate her.

My mother looked hard into Sam's eyes and said "Hey, Sam would you be a dear and take the trash out for me," but we all knew what she really meant. _If you're going to phase then do that shit outside and not in front of Charlie._ He grabbed the full garbage bag and took it out of the house without a word, but with a very long, nasty look at me from top to bottom. What was his deal?

All of the guys were still looking at me. Some of them were gaping. Paul looked like he would burst out laughing any minute. My brother looked like he was going to keel over any second, literally die of embarrassment. And some of them were wide-eyed. I looked myself up and down to check if I had put my clothes on backwards or something like that. Nope, nothing wrong with me physically.

"What's going on, mom?" I asked trying to shake the fact that everyone was burning holes into me with how much they were staring.

"Sam and Emily announced their engagement this afternoon. We're having a fish-fry to celebrate. Where have you been, it's hours past dark. No one knew where you were, what you were doing. You scared me, baby."

I heard Embry snicker and say "More like who she was doing." The rest of the guys stifled their laughter. I shot a glare in their direction. How did they know? Jacob, you asshole! I bet he called and told somebody what happened and then that person told the whole fucking room!

"Mom, I'm not a baby. I'm twenty years old I think I can go in and out as I please without having to check in."

"But you didn't take the car or your phone. I was worried. I know you're not a child anymore, but it's dangerous out there." What she really meant was, _I thought a vampire killed you._

"Your mother is right, Leah. People are turning up missing every week. It's getting crazy at the station," Charlie butted in.

"I'm a big girl. I can handle myself."

"Okay honey, but be careful. And shoot me a text every once in a while. I'm still your mom."

I sucked my teeth. "Fine, mom."

"I saved you a plate. These boys would have left you nothing but bones to pick from if I hadn't made your plate before I called them to eat."

"Yeah, you know how the guys are," Emily chimed. She picked up the plate from the counter and handed it to me. If this bitch doesn't keep her fucking mouth shut and stay out of my sight I'm gonna scratch her face up worse with my finger nails. The look in my eyes told her that exactly. She put the plate back. My mom noticed the little exchange between us.

"Lee Lee, can I talk to you in private for a minute. Everyone, will you please excuse us."

Oh Jesus. More of the "Try to be nicer to Emily" bullshit.

I followed her out to the front porch. We sat on her favorite bench. I remember when Seth and I were kids she and dad would sit on this bench and watch us play in the driveway. She never sits out here anymore.

"If you brought me here to tell me to play nice with Emily, don't waste your breath."

"Sam told me you refused to be her maid of honor," she said quietly.

"Damn right I did."

"Honey, you have to learn to let go. You and Emily were best friends as close as sisters not too long ago. I just want you two to have that relationship again. And so does she. I think the wedding will help you guys to fix your friendship."

"Mom I did let go. And then you know what happened? I morphed into a DOG! A literal bitch with the ability to see into Sam's mind. I have to see it every single day how much he loves her. How much she loves him. I get my heartbroken over and over every damned day. I think I'm dealing with it pretty well. I don't cry all the time anymore, I don't think about it all the time. I deal with it. But I will not be in attendance at that damned wedding, let alone perform in it. You're all out of your minds."

"Sweetheart, she misses you. She tells me all the time. And I keep assuring her that one day you'll come around."

"I miss her too mom," I said sadly

"You do?" she asked, perplexed.

"Yeah I miss when she wasn't a home wrecking whore who stole boyfriends and then played the victim after."

"Leah! Stop it, your cousin is not a whore. This was not her choice as much as you'd like to blame her."

"The hell she isn't! She always wanted Sam, even before she met him when I would just tell her stories about him. And get this through your head, Sam was the one who had no choice. I've never heard of the imprintee being forced into anything. Damn it, mom they couldn't even be upfront and honest with me about what was going on. They were having sex while Sam and I were together. I would have respected them more if they would have told me what happened between them before she hopped in his bed. Maybe then I could forgive them. But they had sex behind my back and smiled in my face. Do you know how many times I would call her crying about how much Sam was changing. I confided in her. And she would just tell me sweet nothings 'it'll be alright, Leah.' 'he's going through a phase, Leah' 'let's get some ice cream to make you feel better, Leah.'"

"She didn't know how to tell you and she was still trying to be a good friend."

"NO MOM! she was being a sneaky manipulative cunt!"

"Don't talk in front of me like that, Leah! Compose yourself."

"No mom, this is bullshit! She would spend the day letting me cry on her shoulder and then sneak out of _this_ house late at night to go have sex with Sam. On the beach, in his car, at his house. They were doing it everywhere, all the time! And I never even knew."

"I'm sure your exaggerating."

"I saw it. Sam thinks about those days quite a lot, mom."

"Well we can't do anything about that now, can we."

"No, we can't."

"Leah, when my sister was dying I promised that I would look after Emily in her place. That I would be there for her in a motherly way. And I love her like she was my own daughter."

"I'm your own daughter. But I guess it makes sense that you love her so much, seeing as you're on her side in this sticky situation."

"I'm not on anyone's side. I want to see both of you happy."

"And that's where things are messed up. You're supposed to be on my side no matter what. You're _my_ mother."

"And she is our family. We have to love our family."

"You can love her enough for the both of us. I'm all set."

"Leah Clearwater, you will be in that wedding. You will stand by her side and you will be good to her. I'm tired of the back and forth with you two. We are a family, and family supports one another. You will support her on the biggest day of her life."

"It's funny how the biggest day in her life will probably be the saddest, most depressing day I'll ever live through. You see how that's two completely opposite ends of the scale. What's even funnier is you've got so much to say about family and support. Where was my support? Where is it now? Who's gonna get me through that wedding. Who's gonna stand by me? Nobody. And if I can suffer through it, so can she. I will not be in that wedding. I will be nowhere near that wedding. And if you've got so much of a problem with it, then I can pack my things up tonight and be out of here before you wake up in the morning. Get this straight. I stuck around here because I love my family and I love my pack brothers. I wanted to be here for you since everything's been so hard without daddy. I wanted to be here to help Seth and be a big sister to him. I didn't want to abandon my pack. Don't you dare talk to me about family and loyalty, because I'm here for everyone and I do it without complaint because _that_ is what family is. The fact of the matter is my life has been severely ruined. But I never once demanded to anyone that they do something they didn't want to do, just to make me feel better about my life. That's wrong. And this conversation is over."

I stormed away off of the porch and toward the forest.. I could feel my body convulsing and vibrating. I was so close to losing it. When I was a safe distance away from the cars parked at our house I phased and ran away like the devil was chasing me.

I don't know who Emily thought she was, involving my mother in this. She was such a coward. First she had Sam ask me to be in the fucking wedding, then she had my mom try to change my mind. I don't know who my mother thought she was demanding that I agree to be in it. I don't know who Sam thought he was looking at me in disgust the way he did before he left my house. I don't know who the fuck Jake thought he was blabbing to the guys about me before I even made it home.

These people have fucking lost it. Maybe everyone is just as insane as I am. Just in their individual ways. Fucking assholes.

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><p><strong>So that was intense, huh? I had to give you guys a deeper look into why Leah ( and I ) dislikes Emily's character so much. I hate her, as the rest of the world should. And she will not have her way in any of my stories. <strong>

**Who should Leah confront next, Sam or Jake? I'm not sure at all what the next scene is going to be. Leave a review telling me your thoughts, opinions, and suggestions please? I'm doing this fic for my readers, not myself lol. So let me know, who should be in the next scene.**

**And thank you all so much for the reviews so far. They really do motivate me to write more and get these chapters out quickly. And they influence the way I write the chapters to come. Thank's so much for reading and for following this. Now, review! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok so some off you (possibly a lot of you) are going to HATE me for this. Sorry guys, I had to. Happy reading?**

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><p>I wandered around the woods for about twenty minutes. I had no real destination I just needed to get away from my house so I could clear my mind, calm myself down enough to phase back. Take it from me, you would never want my life. There's no silver lining for me. When shit goes wrong, it goes horribly wrong.<p>

I couldn't hear Sam. But his car was still parked at my house so I knew he must have phased at some point. I was relieved that we weren't linked. I liked the piece and quiet of my own mind. I could self-loathe in privacy.

When were things going to start going good for me? Do I really cause these bad things for myself? Or does misfortune often find me? I used to think that I wasn't a bad person, just a person bad things happen to. But how much coincidental bad shit does a girl have to go through before it's no longer a coincidence and actually bad karma. Maybe I was a serial killer in another life. Or a bank robber. Those are the only explanations I can come up with.

My senseless thinking was interrupted by the sound of voices. Arguing voices. I didn't much care about who it was arguing and started heading in a different direction. But then I heard my name. I phased back and then I slowly walked over to where the people were arguing so as not to give my presence away. I wanted to hear what they were saying. After a few paces I recognized the voices as Sam's and Jake's. Fucking great. I bet they were arguing over who got the better blowjob.

I inched even closer so that I could see them better. They were each wearing their cutoffs and their faces were scorched with fury. This was an argument amongst men that I didn't want to be caught in the middle of. What about me were they fighting over?

The silence between them spoke loud volumes of anger and rage. Sam finally spoke again.

"I'm gonna tell you this once. You stay away from her. You got that, you little shit?" Sam said.

"Tell the bitch that she needs to stay away from me. Maybe if she wasn't out of her fucking mind, we wouldn't be here right now. Maybe if you weren't the reason she was out of her fucking mind nothing would have ever happened."

Sam growled. "Shut it, Black. You don't know the half of it."

"I know everything! Are you really that oblivious and so far up Emily's ass that you can't feel what you've done to her? Can you even see it?"

The way he spoke on my behalf with such passion sent a shiver down my spine. He was angry. They both were. They were both shaking, looking at the other like he would rip his head off at any minute. I don't care what you think of me right now. I know it's wrong to be thinking about sex at a time like this, but they were so hot right now. Both of them so passionate, angry, dominant. It made me want to jump in between them and . . .

They stopped shaking and whipped their heads up with wicked speed to look in my direction.

"She's here," Jake said.

"I know I can smell it." He said, annoyed.

Shit. Shit. Shit! Curse this traitorous body of mine. They can fucking smell it!

Jake walked in the direction of the tree I was hiding behind, in search of me. I was suddenly wishing I brought my clothes with me. I was feeling more naked than normal.

"Don't even think about it." Sam said, unmoving.

Jake turned to him and growled, once again ready to fight. But Sam remained composed.

"Go home. That's an order." He said with a smirk.

Jake was defeated tonight. He did as he was told without another word. When Jake was out of listening range Sam spoke again.

"Lee Lee are you going to come out, or are you gonna make me find you?"

I revealed myself from my hiding spot. "I told you not to call me that anymore."

He looked me up and down, different from how he had in my kitchen earlier. I found pure lust in his lingering gaze. He wanted me. He never looked at me like that before. Not even when we were together. Behind the lust at the forefront of his eyes lingered the animalistic need to prove that he was the Alpha in this pack. And what he says, goes. He never responded to the remark I made about my nickname. I swallowed hard before speaking.

"Why were you laying into Jacob like that? I don't much appreciate you getting into my personal business."

"It's the pack's business now. What the two of you do in private affects us all at some point. It has to stop."

"It has nothing to do with anyone besides Jacob and me. If you see something, you say nothing. It's as simple as that. You all are going to mind your damn business."

"There will be nothing more to see. Whatever is going on between you two is over now."

"Oh I'm sorry, did I miss the part where it was established that you decide who I see and what is done when I see them?"

"Since I am your Alpha and I will not authorize a relationship between you two."

"Is that what he told you guys? That we're in a relationship now? How pathetic, show the guy some attention and now it's a 'relationship.'"

"He told no one anything, Leah. Are you saying you guys aren't together then?"

"Hell no."

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing."

"As soon as you walked into your house his stench was all over you. We all smelled him as if he had come through the door himself. Do not lie to me, Leah!"

"You smelled it?"

"We're fucking werewolves of course we can smell sex on you."

"Well we didn't have sex."

"Then what happened?"

""See if this was any of your fucking business then I guess I'd tell you. But it isn't, so I won't."

"Tell me what happened!" There was Alpha command all over his tone of voice. I had no choice.

"I went to his house, we kissed a lot, he went down on me, we watched each other masturbate, he put his fingers in me, I jerked him off, I gave him a blowjob, I went home."

He was boiling with anger. He didn't shake, but I could tell he was pissed.

"You let that fucking pup touch you? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you _want_ me to have to kill him?"

"Why, what's it to you? You jealous,_ Alpha_?"

"Yeah, what if I was? I can't stand to know another man had his hands on you. You've been marked, you're mine."

He's got to be fucking _shitting_ me right now. I'm _his_? I've been _marked_? I haven't had sex with him in ages and he thinks I'll never do it again with another man?

"Tell me was it your plan to ruin my life and make sure I'd be miserable for what's left of it? Can you really not stand to see me happy?"

"I want more than anything for you to be happy, it's just . . ." He couldn't finish his sentence. There was nothing he could say to explain himself properly anyway this was completely fucked up.

"I don't belong to you anymore. Emily does. It would do you a lot of good to remember that. I suggest you stop talking before you get yourself into trouble."

"Leah I . . . I'm sorry."

"Yes, you are. You're a sorry piece of shit."

"You have no idea what you're doing to me here. The minute I smelled you here . . . and when he made it his business to see you. Your driving me crazy, Lee Lee."

"No it's your inner wolf that's driving you crazy. The need to dominate everyone around you. You got something to prove?"

"I suppose I do."

"And what's that?"

"He'll never make you feel as good as I do." And with that he closed the distance between us. He wasted no time in kissing me. He familiarized himself with the touch of my skin. Memories of the past returned to the forefront of my mind when we used to do this frequently. I was familiar and brand new at the same time. He kissed me with the same flavors that he used to, but with a new desperation. I liked it. I didn't stop him. He was touching my already naked body all over and he left a trail of sizzling fire wherever his skin grazed. He turned me around so that my back was touching his front. He placed such passionate kisses along my shoulder, collar bone, and neck. Exploring every part of my body with his hands as if this were the first time we've been like this.

"Mine." He said with a strong voice. He held me tighter against him and his kisses became licks. There were no clothes to bar the flow from my center and it dripped along my thigh. He breathed deeply, taking in its scent. He used one of his hands to wipe against my inner thighs, getting my juices on himself. "For me." He brought his hand up to his face to breathe in the scent better. "So sweet." I could feel his hard on against my back. I never wanted him more.

Like I said before, I couldn't give a shit about you judging me right now. Out of everything I've gone through, one fact remains constant. I am in love with this man. I can swear up and down that I'm not everyday, but that doesn't change the facts.

Without caution or warning he slid his fingers inside me and began a steady pump.

"Sammm." The moaning started.

"Yes, baby?"

"Deeper. Harder!"

He obliged my pleads. He strengthened the pumps of his hand. My orgasm snuck up on me. I didn't anticipate it and out of nowhere I burst all over his hand with a scream that startled all of the wildlife around us. Birds took off from their nesting areas and flew into the night sky.

"Sam I need you in me." I did. My pussy was aching for him in a way it never had before. I needed him to complete me. He made to remove his cutoffs, but I stopped him and shook my head. I think I deserve better than the dirty forest floor.

"Not here. Take me to your place. The whole pack is at my house."

"What's wrong with here?" He asked, kissing at my neck.

"It's dirty. Don't you think a bed is more ideal? Come on let's go."

"Baby, we can't. Emily might have gone home. Or she could walk in on us. We don't want that, do we?"

And here comes the smack of reality to my face. Sam did not love me. He didn't even think me worthy of anything more than the filthy forest fuck. The only point in this was to fuck me and one up Jacob. Why didn't I see that before? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why don't I see how incredibly wrong these situations are before I cross the line? What did I just let myself fall for? Well he never actually said he still loved me and wanted anything more than a quickie. I just let myself fall for the way he touched me. Stupid idiot girl. How could I do this to myself? How could I let this happen?

"Stop get off of me," I said bitterly and pushed myself off of him.

He was confused. "What's wrong?"

"You're wrong. I'm wrong. This is all fucked up."

I felt like I was having a repeat of the scene with Jacob. I started to cry again. It never fails, he always makes me cry. He started to say something.

"Don't say anything. This is how it's gonna be from now on. You don't touch me ever again. You don't talk to me ever again unless it wolf related. You don't so much as look at me. Ever. Until the day one of us dies. You don't bother Jacob and you will stay out of my personal business. I'm gonna fuck who I want to fuck and you will have nothing to say about it. And from now on for as long as I belong to your pack, you and I will not patrol at the same time. I don't want to be linked to you."

"And what if I'm no good at taking orders?" Sam said.

"Then I'll take matters into my own hands. I'll go to the council and tell them everything that just happened. I'll tell them you're an unfit and selfish leader and have you stripped from your title and it will be rightfully given to Jacob. I'll get their permission to stop phasing and I'll be a normal human girl. And you will have no more power."

He narrowed his eyes at me and swallowed hard, but remained silent. I took it that my point got across loud and clear. I didn't wait for him to respond before I phased and ran home. Jake was in wolf form too, I could feel him. He was at his house. I did my best to contain my thoughts and ignore him, but that's no easy task for a girl with her mind spinning. He didn't try to communicate with me, so that was a good sign.

I went to the stash of clothes that Seth and I keep at the edge of the woods and I got myself dressed.

I slammed through the front door and again was welcomed by the pack, plus Emily, and their long stares.

"FUCK LEAH! SAM TOO?" Seth shouted at me. Some of the guys snickered.

"Shut the fuck up, it's not funny!" He snapped at them.

I ignored everyone.

"Where's mom?" I asked.

"She took Billy home, Jake wasn't picking up the phone when he called for a ride. And if he had answered I would have told him not to show his fucking face here."

"Calm down, Seth! Just shut it!" He was forgetting who the older sibling was here and I'm not gonna stand here to be yelled at by my little brother.

"So I'm curious, Leah. Which one of us is next? I volunteer to go last. I think Sam took care of Jake's leftovers and I'm not too fond of scraps." Paul jutted. Without a verbal response I launched myself at him but Jared got in my fucking way and held me back. Everyone's attention was so focused on me that nobody was watching Seth as he threw a punch that rearranged Paul's nose with a crack. Paul began to shake in rage.

"Somebody get those two out of here before they go ape shit in the fucking house!" Quil screamed.

Embry and Quil had to drag Paul out the front door and Jared pushed Seth out the back door into the back yard. And then there were two.

"Leah." Emily's small voice came from behind me. Why doesn't she know by now not to talk to me?

I whipped around and looked hard at her.

"What did Seth mean when he said Sam too? What's going on? Where is Sam? And why was he so angry when he left?"

I smiled so wickedly, you would have thought I was the Grinch.

"Sam was angry because he thought I had sex with Jake. Actually Sam and I almost had sex in the woods not more than fifteen minutes ago."

"What?" Emily said covering her mouth in shock. Her eyes sprang a leak.

"Yeah. Man, he wastes no time going after what he wants. He just couldn't stand the thought of me being with another man. And Jesus I forgot what I was missing. One of the best orgasms I've had in such a long time, now I see why you just had to take him from me. He's good at what he does. We would have finished the deed right then and there, but you know I started to think of this girl I know. She had sex with her cousin's boyfriend for a long time while they were still together. I didn't want to do the exact same thing that I hate her for, so I stopped it. He would have fucked me long and hard in that forest, but I stopped it. But please, don't be mad at him. It's a wolf thing that he has no control over. He had no choice. And I just feel terrible. I hope you can forgive me, cousin." My voice was oozing sarcasm like nobody's ever seen it before. I flashed her a bright smile and gave her a pat on the shoulder. She began to sob.

"Hey, I don't think I ever got to officially congratulate you on the engagement. Congratulations! I wish you both the absolute best. Now get the fuck out of my house!" I screamed in her face. She ran out crying and for the first time in a while I was thoroughly satisfied. I went into my room and locked the door behind me. I collapsed against it.

How is it that I managed to fuck this day up even more. Why am I such a weak girl? How did I let Sam get the best of me? I asked myself similar questions throughout the time it took me to shower again and climb into my bed. I had no answers for myself. There were no answers I'm just a stupid girl who gets herself into impossible situations. I went to bed crying and hating myself. I was almost asleep when there was a knock at my window. What the fuck?

I groggily got out of bed and dragged my feet as I walked over to open it.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Was this nightmare of a night ever going to end? With my luck, it wouldn't. Fuck.

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><p><strong>Please don't hate me too much. But still, review!<strong>

**And for those of you who haven't read my other stories, you should give them a try. I think my one-shots ("Open Minded" in particular) are better than my chapter stories. It wouldn't hurt to give them a chance. I love you guys! *kisses***


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: A MILLION, BAJILLION APOLOGIES. The semester started back up and I just neglected allll of my personal projects. My fics, my drawings, my poetry. Everything. College is kicking my ass guys. Then I sat down a few weeks ago trying to write this chapter, and i was completely blocked. I didn't know where to go or what to write. This story has no direction as of yet and I'm really just seeing where it ends up. I asked a few readers for help about where this chapter should lead and this was the general consensus. Thank you all for your suggestions I tried my best. This one is a bit short, I'm aware. Again, I'm so so sorry for how late this is. Forgive me. Happy reading?**

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><p>It was Jacob at the window, here to haunt me. Some divine power sent him here to drag the night out and have him torment me, I just know it.<p>

He didn't answer my question, he just jumped into my room through the window like he owned the place. His face read determination and purpose. He looked like a man with a plan.

"Get out." I ordered him, despite my ever present curiosity. What could he want from me now?

"Not until we talk first." He placed his hand on my shoulder.

"I don't want to talk to you. What do you want?" I shook him off and took a step back. I was scared that the heat of his skin would intermingle with mine and . . . well you know where that leads. He took a step closer nonetheless.

"I saw what happened with Sam after I left."

"Yeah? I'm pretty sure everyone's gonna be seeing it. What's your point?"

"Leah, just shut up."

"Excuse me? If you don't want to hear me then you can just get the hell out of my room."

He ignored me again.

"How could you let him touch you?"

Oh, Jesus! Cue the theatrics.

"I'm starting to get sick of the macho wolf bullshit. He doesn't want you touching me, you don't want him touching me. Why won't either of you just mind your damned business?"

"You're right. This has nothing to do with me. I'm not concerned with controlling who you see and get involved with. I just want to know how you could let him get that close to you."

"What does it matter to you?"

"I've always known you to be smart, clever, on your toes, ready for anything. But today you've never been more stupid. At the rate you're going, you'll be the cause of your own destruction. What is wrong with you?"

Doesn't he realize, I've already been destroyed?

"Oh I'm sorry, now you're here to lecture me? I had a father, he's dead now and I'm not looking for a replacement."

"God Lee, just shut the fuck up with that crazy bitch routine you've been keeping up with. I'm not here to lecture you or to stick it to Sam."

"So what you came to finish what we started before? I told you, it's not happening."

"No Leah I'm not the type of person who would use another person's pain as a reason to get into bed with them. I'm not you."

"So you're here to make me feel bad then? Didn't you tell Sam to keep this _bitch_ away from you. Why won't you just leave so I can get to doing that?"

"No!"

"Then why are you here? What do you want from me?"

"As stupid as this sounds, I'm here to save you."

I laughed in his face.

"Yeah laugh it up. But I know you. I've been linked to you since you first joined us. I know how you think, how you feel, and how you love. I know you. You're not a bitch. You just pretend to be. Because not so deep down, you're a vulnerable girl who just needs to be understood. I saw the way you cried tonight when you realized that Sam wasn't going to take you home with him. The look on your face was hard to watch because I know how much you love him."

What with all of the crying, screaming, and fighting of today I just couldn't do it anymore. I tired myself out and honestly by this point I just want to give up.

"Ok, I'd love to sit around and do each others hair and nails while we're having this heart to heart, but I've got a lot of sleep to catch up on. As you know, I've had a long day. So can you just go. Please. I don't want to talk about Sam. I don't want to talk about me. I don't want to talk. Get out of my room."

He gave one final look of defeat and took a few paces toward my window to leave without argument or rebuttal. I was glad for that.

But then he did something I wasn't expecting at all. As he approached the window he stopped short and turned around to face me, causing me to smack right into his solid chest and lose my balance for a second. He placed his strong hands on my shoulders to steady me and before I had a chance to ask him why he wasn't proceeding to get the fuck out, he kissed me. Laid one on me to my complete surprise. It was innocent and sweet, I'll admit. But with all the craziness of tonight I couldn't let this happen. Not again. I had to take control of something and I had to do the right thing at least once today; _before_ lines are crossed. I pushed him back and shook my head, though I didn't look at him out of fear for what I would find in his eyes. Desire? Pain? Love, dare I say?

"You know, Lee, you were right about one thing tonight."

I scoffed. "Yeah? What's that?" I couldn't deny my curiosity.

"When Sam ordered me to leave. I was enraged to point where it was driving me crazy. I stayed in wolf form just so I could know if you were okay and I was hoping and wishing with all that I had, that you didn't give into him. I wanted to kill him. You were right when you said that I couldn't handle you being with anyone else. I can't. I know you don't belong to me, and I know we're not together. I still love Bella and all, but you've stirred some feelings in me that I don't exactly know how to handle." He dipped his head down to kiss me again.

I couldn't believe what he was saying to me, but then again I could. I let him get close to me physically and all of a sudden he has feelings that he doesn't know how to handle. Typical teenage immaturity. Tonight was a night of mistakes that I'll never live down. As much as I want to fall into his smile, his words, his arms, I can't play into this. These are just the whims of a teenage boy and soon enough he'll be fixated with the next pretty girl his stumbles upon. This whole thing isn't fair to either of us. It wasn't fair of me to play his own instincts against him earlier. I know that now. But he needs to know that it's not fair of him to toy around with my head. He claims to know me, what I want, and how I feel. He knows I just want someone to call mine. It's not fair of him to say all this shit when we both know he can't give me any of it.

I turned my face, denying him again.

"Jake, that sounds like a personal problem that you ought to go deal with." I breathed. Again, I avoided looking into his eyes for I was certain that I would find his disappointment. I don't like to hurt people -besides Emily, of course.

The room was still and silent, yet screaming high volumes of all the things we weren't saying to each other.

"You know, you're so good at playing the bitch. I'm actually starting to believe it."

He hadn't said another word. And with one smooth movement, he was out the window and gone. I didn't watch him leave. I closed my window and went back to my bed.

Yeah I feel like shit right now, but the goal was to get him out of here before we both did more things we couldn't take back. From now on I'm going to take control of my life. I can't let myself slip again. I can't hurt Jake anymore and I won't let him hurt me. I just can't do this. I just want to go to sleep and wake up different.

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><p><strong>AN: Leah is confused about a lot of things here. As am I because I don't know where to take her, or even how to get her there. LOL as always, I need your contributions. My dear, faithful readers please shoot me a private message or review and tell me what you want to see. I love you all. Thanks for sticking by me.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: This update took a while. So so sorry. I had the most insane writer's block. Just wanted to say thanks a lot to restlessxpen for helping me with the story's progression. She's given me some extremely helpful suggestions. You should thank her too by reading her work. She's utterly amazing. go read everything she's got up after you're done reading and reviewing here. **

**Also, some of you may have read the version of last chapter where Leah decided she would move out. I changed it. So just take a quick look at the end of last chapter to make sure we're all on the same place. Sorry for any confusion. Happy Reading Dolls!**

It's funny how as a child we're told we can have anything we want, be anything we want, do anything we want, and all we have to do is wish for it hard enough. Last night I wished I could wake up different. The reality of it all is I woke up feeling like total shit. I went to sleep with awful thoughts of Jake, Sam, Emily, my mother, and Seth. When I woke up those thoughts picked back up right where they left off and smacked me in the face. Sort of like a wake up call.

_Earth to Leah! Wake the fuck up! You left your life in a shit hole time to wake up and face it all!_

My body was sore all over, no doubt the result of my very long, eventful day yesterday.

A hot shower would do the trick. I stretched out of bed and grabbed my bath robe. Entering the hallway, I could hear Seth downstairs playing on of his stupid video games. Passing my mother's open bedroom door I learned that she wasn't in her room this morning. I quickly ran through her room to look out her window at the driveway. Her car was gone. I wonder what she's up to this morning.

Putting thoughts of my missing mother aside, I set to my original task. This is going to be the best shower of my life. Entering the bathroom I start my usual morning routine.

Pee.

Brush my teeth.

Take my vitamins and birth control.

Set iPod on shuffle.

I disrobe and do a quick once over at my naked body in the mirror. There are several sores and bruises on my legs, hips, arms. I know exactly how they were caused. Sam and Jake. I quickly shake my head as if to expel all thoughts of the two men from my mind. I hop into the shower before I'm distracted by thoughts of them again.

Despite my horrible mood I manage to find myself dancing and singing in my shower along with my iPod.

"I want to run through the halls of my high school. I want to scream AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!" I try my best to hit a falsetto along with John Mayer as he sings one of my favorites. I continue to belt out the tune as I lather my hair up with shampoo.

"They lovvvve toooo tellllll yooouuu staayyy insiiiide the-"

I was interrupted by a rude knock.

"YOUR BOYFRIEND IS AT THE DOOR!" Seth yelled to me through the closed bathroom door.

I sighed in annoyance.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY,SETH! WHO IS IT?" I shouted back.

"IF YOU DON'T TELL HIM TO GET THE FUCK OFF OUR PROPERTY AND NEVER COME BACK I'LL GIVE HIM A NOSE TO MATCH PAUL'S! GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" Seth barked at me, ignoring my question.

Severely annoyed by the fact that my shower has been ruined, I finish washing my hair and hop out of the tub with record speed.

Whoever is at the door could only be one of two people. Seeing as I told both of them where to shove it last night, I don't see why they're at my door now. I guess _one_ of them can't take a hint.

I shrugged my bathrobe back on and hurried to the front door, hair dripping from my failure to remember to grab a towel before heading downstairs.

Seth was in the kitchen headed toward the back door.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"Where do you think? If I don't phase and kill something in the forest I'm gonna be shunned by the council for fully dismembering our Alpha," he said nastily before slamming the door shut behind him. I heard the familiar _crack_ and _pop_ of bones breaking, shifting, realigning, and within seconds I knew my brother was gone.

I feel awful for putting him through this. I made a mental note to have a very apologetic chit chat with him later on when he was calm.

I could smell Sam on the other side of the door, standing on my porch.

What could he possibly want now?

I snatched the door open to greet him with my iciest glare.

"What do you want?" I asked, skipping any unnecessary conversation. It was then that I realized he looked exactly the same as yesterday, only filthier. His eyes were sunken and wary as if he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep.

"Is your mother here? I need to speak with her. It's urgent."

"Nope." I said, making sure to pop the "p" in emphasis.

"Can I come in?" he asked, his voice husky and thick.

"No. Unless you want Seth to detach your balls and send them back to you in the mail."

His jaw clenched.

"Now isn't the time for jokes. Look, I came here to ask if you've seen Emily. She never came home last night. Has she called here? Stopped by?"

"I wasn't joking. Seth's gonna rip you a new asshole if he comes back here and catches your scent," I retorted, ignoring what he said about my cousin. I was enjoying his annoyance toward the fact that I avoided his question.

"Leah!" He yelled.

"No, I haven't seen your _precious_ Emily. She spent a night away from your sorry ass? Alert the media!"

Sam growled at me, eyes narrowed. He'd rip my head apart just for talking about Emily. It's hard even coming to terms with the fact that we got to this point. I never wanted this. I didn't want Sam to be my enemy, even if I hated him for what he did.

"Where did you see her last?" I asked sounding more serious and concerned. She could be dead in a ditch somewhere for all I cared, but I'd do anything to get him to stop looking at me like that.

"Here, last night. I haven't seen her since your arrival and my graceless exit."

It was hard to not want to help the guy. He looked so down. I guess I could help him find her.

"Do you want me to call her or something?" I offered.

"Yes please, I'd be so grateful if you could do anything to help me find her."

"Fine. Come in. My cell is in my room."

He followed me up the stairs and into my bedroom. He sat silently at my desk while I searched for her name in my contacts list on my phone.

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

"Hi, this is Emily -"

I hung up on her voicemail, not wanting to hear her sickly sweet voice in my ear today.

"No answer." I said to Sam. He heaved a heavy sigh and held his head in his hands.

"I just don't know where she could be. Where would she go without calling first to tell me? Why would she worry me like this?"

Oh. I know why. Her sudden disappearance making more sense to me now than ever.

"I think it might be my fault," I begin.

He looked at me, silently willing me to continue.

"I told her off last night when I got home. After I left you."

"Well what did you say?"

"You're not gonna like it."

"Please just tell me, Lee."

Ignoring that twitch of irritation I always get at his use of my nick name, I continued on.

"I told her what happened between us."

His face fell. He looked like death.

"Why would you do that? I don't care how much you hate me, you can't possibly dislike her that much. She's your family and you deliberately hurt her." He snapped, pacing toward the window but stopping just short of it as if something had repelled him away.

"Oh okay so it's just fine to hurt people as long as it's an accident. Got it." I said, bitterness laced around my words.

"This is all my fault." He all but whispered.

"Finally, something we can agree on!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to attack you," He said, his voice now softer as he spoke. "I just know how hard she tries for you to forgive her. And all she gets in return is your cruelty."

"Well when you find her, tell her to stop trying. And then I won't have a reason to be cruel. Are we done here? I called her, you can leave now." I said holding the door open for him, reminding him of the way he came.

"Yeah I guess we are. I have to keep searching. Maybe some of the guys have heard from her."

"Yeah, you have fun with that." I replied sarcastically.

He shook his head. Slowly he traced the frame of my window, looking like he needed to say something. Can't imagine what.

"Sorry but you can't take my window with you, despite your sudden fascination with it."

He was silent and still for just a few more moments before taking large strides toward me at the door.

"I remember when it used to be _me_ who snuck through the window to come see you at night."

Completely shocked by his bold statement, I was at a loss for words.

"Wh-What?"

"Lee, you don't know how hard it's been. The imprint has consumed me, but not all of me. All this time I've been fighting with myself. I've been fighting the part of me that's still in love with you. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't say this-"

"Then don't! Just go!' I pleaded. Why doesn't he know what he does to me? Just a few more words out of him and I'll fall apart. All. Over. Again.

"No I have to say this."

I shook my head and shut my eyes closed. Willing him to disappear by the time I open them again.

He shook my shoulders in attempt to get me to look at him. I was too afraid see what I knew would be in his eyes: truth.

He continued. "Lee, you were my choice. You have to know that. If this world wasn't so fucked up and unfair, we wouldn't be where we are now. Things would be the way they used to and we would be happy. From the bottom of my heart I would like to apologize for everything I put you through. I'm sorry for cheating on you. I wasn't strong enough to resist the imprint. And yesterday I wasn't strong enough to resist you. I'm so sorry for what I did. And it hurts like hell to see you move on, but I can't be selfish anymore. I want you to be happy, no matter who you're with. Even if its Jake."

"I'm not with Jacob, Sam." I replied.

"You should be." He said, shocking himself even more than he did me.

"I should be alone."

"No, you should be with someone who would move Heaven and Earth just to be with you. You should be with someone who'll take care of you the way I wanted to. The way I couldn't."

I know that he meant every single word of what he said. Suddenly I didn't hate him so much. I could get used to a Sam who owned up to his mistakes and took responsibility for all the hurt he's caused to me and Emily both.

As if this morning could use another surprise he closed in on my personal space and whispered, "Allow me this last selfish act? Let me kiss you. For the last time."

Remembering our last kiss - the one he cockily took from me yesterday in the woods - I closed my eyes tightly, silently wishing that I would never have to feel what I felt after our last kiss. I don't want to feel used or rejected by him ever again.

Mistaking my silence for approval, Sam cupped my face in his hands and kissed me ever so softly. So gentle and sweet and full of love. He was pouring all his feelings for me into this kiss, I knew it, with every intention of leaving them here. He would walk out of here with his closure and leave me here with . . .

Peace?

Knowing that he was finally able to man up and claim responsibility for what he's done would leave me with peace. How could I go on hating the man for cheating on me and blaming it on his stupid imprint when he just told me everything I've ever wanted to hear: the truth.

I love him so much. That fact will probably never change. But I can let him go now. Finally.

The kiss lasted a while as we took our time really exploring each other, filling each other with all we've ever wanted to say during our time apart.

_I'm sorry._

_I need you._

_I miss you._

_I love you._

Our tongues danced a familiar dance and the kiss deepened. And as if he didn't want it to end he separated himself from me ever so slowly.

That was it. That was all there was for us from now on, the memory of that kiss. This was goodbye. And I'm okay with that.

He made a swift exit and tried to leave as quick as he could in search of my cousin.

"Hey, Sam!" I called after him, nearly jogging to catch up as epiphany struck me.

Just as he reached the foot of the staircase he wheeled himself around to face me at the top of the steps.

"She went back to Makah," I continued, not waiting for a response from him. "There's this fountain in the park she used go to when she was little. It's right by her house. When shit hits the fan she always goes there to toss a coin and pray for her troubles to go away."

"How can you be sure?" he asked. Looking as if he would die if I gave him a false clue.

"I knew her once."

"Let's hope to God that you still know her."

He made to leave, but I stopped him again.

"I won't tell her what we did this time."

He smiled at me sadly.

"You won't have to," he said. "I'm gonna tell her myself."

I could get used to this Sam. The honest one.

"Bring her home," I said softly. He was out the front door, phased, and gone toward Makah in a matter of seconds. And I was left alone with my peace.

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><p><strong>AN: I know I don't deserve it for taking so long, but still REVIEW! Motivate me to be better for you lol. I love you guys.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter for you guys. A lot of readers have reviewed that they love how Leah tells it like it is. There's gonna be more of that coming, but not from our leading lady. Stay tuned!**

I waited impatiently for my little brother to come home. I let my imagination get the best of me, thinking about all the trouble he could be getting into out there. Since we both phased for the first time I've noticed that he's not the same kid anymore. When we were normal he was always so innocent and playful. Being around him made your inner child come out. He was always joking around about something, his trademark smile plastered across his face.

Since he became a wolf I can see that he's a darker person. He lets his anger take control. The kid is a livewire, always on the brink of phasing. Usually he doesn't let it take him that far; he'll be pissed about something but he almost always calms himself down. Two days in a row he succumbed to his frustrations and let them take him. Two days in a row it's been my fault.

After being gone all day into the early evening my brother comes through the back door and slams it shut, looking no less pissed than he did when he left this morning. It breaks my heart to see him like this. I want to help him get a hold of himself, but I don't know how. I can't even get a hold of myself, and he's worse than I am, believe it or not.

"Did Mom come home?" he asks me as he starts raiding the fridge. He was probably counting on his dinner waiting for him by the time he got home. Where _is_ my mother anyway?

"No. Where'd she get to so early this morning?"

He shrugged. "She was gone when I woke up. Didn't even hear her come in last night." Well that's peculiar. I don't think she came home last night at all.

"I'll call her," I offered.

"Don't bother. She's probably got dinner made in Chief Swan's fridge. No need in asking her to be here with her goddamned kids who each have monstrous appetites now that they're fucking wolves. If she doesn't want to be here, we don't need her to be."

I didn't know what to say. I can't believe this is the same kid who used to sleep in my bed because he was afraid of the dark. He did have a point about Chief Swan, I just never expected him to outright say it. My mother could deny it all she wanted; Seth and I know they're more than good friends.

"You want a sandwich?" He asks as he slams the refrigerator door, beginning to make one for himself. I shake my head. He shrugs in a way that says 'more for me.'

"I'm sorry, Seth," I begin, not really knowing the best way to start off this awkward conversation. He stops what he's doing and turns around to face me so that I'm not apologizing to his back.

"For what?" He seems confused.

"For everything I put you through since yesterday: causing all the tension between you and Sam and Jake, being the reason you fought with Paul, pissing you off this morning."

"Un-fucking believable," he says through gritted teeth, pounding his fist against the counter, rendering me confused. Didn't I do the right thing? "A lot of people owe me some apologies. Some of them are long overdue. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that you think you owe me one too."

"If it weren't for me being so stupid, none of that would have happened." I was trying to help him to think about this logically. I was the jackass domino that pushed the rest of them over. It's my fault everything went to shit around here.

"I want to know what the hell it was that Sam did to you when he dumped you that made you this way; blaming yourself. Can't you see that it's everyone else who's stupid? If Sam and Jake weren't the horny bastards they are, then I wouldn't have had to break Paul's nose for making jokes about it. If Mom didn't stay out all night fucking Dad's best friend and was actually here this morning instead of Sam, then, yeah I'd have been less pissed than usual. But that wasn't the case. You're my sister. I'm tired of everyone treating you like shit. You don't have anything to be sorry for, Lee."

When he finished his rant I couldn't believe all the things he had to say. That all too familiar sore in my throat returned. It took everything I had not to gather his massive ass into my arms and just cry into his chest. He loves me. That's what this is all about.

All along, I've been letting my self-pity swallow me up whole because I think no one cares about me, and my little brother is the one who ends up being my hero. I don't even know how to respond to that, but I think it's best to clear Jacob's name. He isn't really a horny bastard. I instigated that part.

"Wow. Thanks, Seth. But you should know that what happened between Jake and I was because I went looking for it."

"Oh yeah? So I guess sneaking in through your window last night was an act of innocence."

"Well we didn't do anything. Just talked. How'd you know? You couldn't have caught his scent anywhere. Even my nose isn't that keen."

"I know you didn't do anything. I saw it in his mind this morning. That doesn't make him innocent. He's a piece of shit, just like Sam. He doesn't deserve you. Leah. Don't let him touch you again."

I seriously hate the way he thinks he's my big brother now. Just because his wolf made him huge, he thinks he can tell me what to do.

"Why don't you go up to your room, I'll bring your sandwiches. Just calm down, okay?" I offered. Turning the subject back to food, his one true love, he hastily agreed and left me alone in the kitchen. Now I don't have to deal with his stupid orders. I picked up where Seth left off with his peanut butter and jelly.

I'm getting the feeling that Seth knows something I don't. What's more overpowering is the fact that I feel like I have to defend Jacob, but, given how angry Seth is, I won't argue. Seth doesn't know what he's talking about. He's just a kid, no matter how tough he's gotten. He just doesn't understand that people fuck after they get fucked over. Granted, Jacob and I didn't actually have sex. The concept still applies.

Fate fucked my mother over, so she's fucking Chief Swan.

Sam fucked me over, and I was gonna fuck Jake.

Sam felt fucked over by that and almost fucked me.

We both fucked Emily over. I wonder who she ended up fucking. The thought of that made me laugh devilishly. She would never do anything like that. She doesn't have the balls.

Jake was double fucked over in the same day; first it was Bella, then it was me. I still feel bad about it. But he'll get over it. He has to. Maybe he's gotten his fuck by now and he's already over it. The thought makes me bitter in a way I can't really explain. I turned _him_ down. I don't want to be anything to him. Right? Right.

_Unless it includes those massive hands of his touching you in places you forgot how to touch by yourself._

I'm startled by my own subconscious afterthought. I shake it off.

Setting myself toward the task of bringing Seth his now finished dinner and completely focusing on it, I expel all thoughts of Jacob, and bring the plate stacked with sandwiches to him.

"Thanks, Lee!" he says, excited to finally have something to scarf down. That boyish grin that I haven't seen in ages lights his whole face up. I'm proud to be the person who put it there. He hands me a sandwich and closes his door to finish watching sports center.

"Yeah, sure," I say, headed back to the kitchen to clean up after myself. I finished the sandwich before I made it downstairs.

I can't help but think of Jake again. Should I apologize to him? I was really harsh on him, and nothing was his fault yesterday. Maybe I'll call him tonight?

_I bet you'd love to get **harsh** on him again. Or maybe let him be harsh with you?_

Why can't I stop thinking about him all of a sudden?

_Because you're in desperate need of a good fucking._

Now that I think about it, he was pretty amazing for someone so inexperienced. Well he was pretty amazing for anyone. Although I only have Sam to compare him to, I can't remember ever having an orgasm like the one he gave me with his hands yesterday.

_Those hands!_

I can feel my insides clench and I'm already moistening at the thought. Fuck. Get a grip, Leah! I'm done with Jacob. That ship has sailed. I can't use him for sex. It's wrong.

_Not if he wants it, girl!_

I resolve not to call him or apologize at all. I need to stay away from him. I don't think properly when it comes to him. We had our words and that was that.

Just as I was finishing up with the dishes, I hear the front door unlock and open. Mom's home. I go to greet her at the door.

"Look who the wind blew in. You know I expect Seth to be the one out all night getting his thrills. Not you." I can't even contain my irritation towards her and give her my daughterly respect. What kind of mom stays out all night and doesn't even come home in the morning? Doesn't even call? It's already the next night!

"Leah, it's been a long day. Not now." She sounds exhausted and annoyed. That makes two of us. She walks past me and begins boiling water for some tea in the kitchen.

"Yeah? Tell that to your son who thinks you'd rather be out making dinner for the Chief than your own blood. Why don't you tell _him_ how long of a day it's been?" I ask as I follow her. She's not getting out of this one.

"Despite what the two of you have already concluded I was actually out all night fixing _your_ mess."

"What mess would that be?"

"The one where you nearly destroyed Emily's and Sam's relationship. Jesus, Leah, you have intimate relations with the man on the night of their _engagement_ party? I thought I raised you better than that, but you just couldn't grant them their happiness. I'm so disappointed in you."

Completely overcome with rage at her accusations, I lose what little control of my temper that I had. She doesn't know anything but what Emily ran and told her.

"She _would_ run to you and say that. Sorry to disappoint you, mother. Fuck Emily and whatever she told you," I snapped.

"Leah Clearwater you will not talk to me this way. I'm not going to tell you again."

"Yes, _mother_," I say sarcastically, crossing my arms and rolling my eyes. The tea kettle whistles and steams. If I were a cartoon character I'd be a lot like our kettle, whistling and steaming out of my ears due to boiling anger.

We were both so into our heated discussion that we didn't notice Seth had come down to clean his plate full of crumbs.

"You're home. Where were you?" Seth demands.

"I drove your cousin to Makah last night," Mom says, narrowing her eyes at me. Her tone of voice tells me that she'd rather keep the intimate details of the situation between us.

"Of course you did," Seth says under his breath, shaking his head. Only I could hear him because he stood next to me. Mom fixed herself with making her tea. I look over to him

"Why'd she go home?" Seth asks.

"Oh you know, she missed her other family," Mom says.

"So you took a two hour drive with her in the middle of the night and didn't come home until now?"

"I stayed with her for the day. Why all the question, baby?"

"I'm just trying to figure out why you would flip out on Leah yesterday for not calling you when she was out for a few hours and you're gone the whole day, yet you didn't call either of us. We were worried." Did Seth just challenge our mother?

"_He_ was worried," I added, still seething.

"Oh, Seth. I'm sorry. My cell had no service out there," she soothed, ignoring my comment.

"I don't need you to be sorry, Mom, I need you to not bullshit me. There's no way you took her all the way out there in the dead of night because she missed her family."

"Seth, your language. What is it with the two of you? Ever since- since you changed it's like you have no respect for me anymore."

"Fuck the language, Mom! Why don't you actually listen to us when we speak to you for once, and we'll see about some respect? I think Emily wanted to run away from Sam last night and you'd do _anything_ for Emily so you helped her."

She sighed and took a long sip of her tea. We were clearly frustrating her, but who gives a shit? She deserves it. Go Seth!

"Yes, I took her because she and Sam are having problems. But you don't need to worry over it, it'll all be fine."

"Nobody is worried about their relationship but you, trust me. What I'm worried about is what they're doing to my sister. How could you rush to her side when you had the both of us at home to take care of? All you care about is Emily."

My eyes start to bug out. Did he really just say that? Finally, I'm not the only person who feels this way! Oh man, I'm gonna make this kid a full course meal tomorrow.

"Leah is fine," mom replies curtly.

"No, she isn't!"

"Hey!" I chime. I resent that. I'm okay. A bit rough around the edges, but I'm at least fine, if anything.

"I wonder if you still would have ran to Emily's rescue if you knew what that asshole did to your only daughter."

"Seth!" I warn. That's enough talking about me. I prefer when he's laying into Mom about her own problems, not mine. He doesn't give a damn about my warning, though. He continues.

"Out of anger and jealousy our beloved Alpha manipulated Leah into his sleazy grasp and tried to take advantage of her weakness."

"Hey! Shut up! I am not weak." I yell. Who's side is he on anyway?

"Please, your legs turn to Jell-O whenever he's near you," he snaps at me. I guess he's on his own side. I take that full course meal idea back.

"Enough! Both of you!" We stop our bickering. I glare at Seth. Seth glares at Mom. Mom seems unable to form the right words. There are no right words. We're all fucked up. She begins her explanation.

"I'm truly sorry to the both of you for making you feel like I care about you any less than Emily. As you know, I made a promise to your Aunt Liz before she died that I would look after her only child in her place. I just want her to feel like someone is here for her. Other than me, the girl has no one else to confide in. And after everything that happened between Leah and Sam, and then later with Jacob, the girl is just a mess right now. I just wanted to be there for her. She called me and asked for a ride, I couldn't tell her no, she was so upset. So I picked her up and took her to her home reservation. I stayed with her until Sam got there, and convinced her to come home with him."

If I were phased my wolf would have perked her ears up at the mention of Jacob. What does she mean 'later with Jacob?'

"Wait a minute, let's back up. What does Emily have to do with Jacob?"

"She didn't know about that part. Way to screw things up more, Mom!" Seth yells as he leaves the kitchen, shaking his head.

"What's he talking about?" I ask, needing to be enlightened.

"You told Sam where to find her, I thought you found out from Jacob. I thought - never mind - it isn't my place. You'll have to ask Emily or Jacob," she says with a tone of finality that tells me I won't be getting any information out of her.

"Nice, mom. So happy to know that you can rush to Emily's side as soon as she breaks a nail, but you can't even fill in the blanks for me."

"Leah please-"

I raise my hand in a way that says 'just stop talking to me.' Just like Seth I leave the kitchen, shaking my head in disappointment. I headed upstairs for Seth's room. He was gonna give me some answers, damn it! I knew he was leaving something out of our conversation earlier.

"Seth! Open up!" I shouted at his closed door.

He opened the door and looked at me sadly.

"You gonna tell me, or not?" I asked.

"Lee, I didn't want you to know because I have no idea what Jacob is to you. But this morning when I left Jacob was phased and his mind was all over the place. His memories were erratic. He thought of you, Bella, and Emily. From what I could piece together it looks like Emily went to see him last night after she left here. She was really pissed at you. And she went to Jacob crying about how ugly she is - because of the scars- and Jake said what he could to make her feel better. They ended up kissing at some point. I don't know what happened in between or afterward. I just know what I saw in his head, Lee."

From the tips of my toes I could feel the sensations slowly creeping up my entire body. I saw nothing but red as my hands began to shake furiously.

"Fuck. Leah, calm down!" Seth shouted. His voice sounded incredibly muffled as the sound of my heartbeat quickening overpowered the sound of his voice.

My whole body began to tremble. I had to get out of the house. I would tear the place apart if I didn't.

Running down the stairs as quickly as I could, Seth on my heels, I burst through the front door. Shredding my clothes off I ran down the dirt road and phased once my shirt was discarded. I burst through my own skin and quickly found myself thinking one thing, and one thing only. Kill.

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><p><strong>AN: So, who is Leah after? Emily or Jake? Leave a review telling me who you think she should go for. <strong>

**Also, I am thrilled with the reviews I've been getting. I'm glad you all are enjoying this. I basically have the rest of this fic outlined, but as usual your opinions are greatly appreciated. What would you like to see happen?**

**Lastly, I have a new project I am working on that I won't get into detail about here. I need a pre-reader, or beta reader, or both to collaborate with. It's gonna be great! I just need to bring it to its full potential. For those interested please PM or review and I will message you the details. There are only two requirements. The first is that you have something published that I can read, so as to gauge your writing style and see if I feel like we can work well together. The other requirement is you must be open to lemons and girl on girl action. (The story is not one about lesbians, just a few scenes involving girl on girl action). Message me! **


	8. Chapter 8

******A/N: This is a shorter, but no less necessary chapter. I feel I must urge you all to know that Sue is not the enemy here. She's just misguided and a poor judge of character, is all. Please note that this fic has been in Leah's POV. Naturally, she feels like everyone is against her and her mother would appear to be the villain. Sue isn't all bad. **

**Also, I'm still in search of a beta. I look back at everything I've written and think it's just awful lol.**

**Without further ado . . .**

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><p><strong>Seth<strong>

The women in my family are so fucking stupid.

I've just watched my stupid ass sister combust out of her own skin because my stupid ass mother couldn't keep her mouth shut about my stupid ass cousin kissing Jacob Black.

Granted, I was the one who actually told Leah, but was I really supposed to know that she cared that much? I didn't know she'd be that angry. They're not even dating. I think I'd know if two people who's minds I'm telepathically linked to were in a real relationship.

I can't keep things from her anyway. She's my sister and I always try to tell it like it is. She's always had my back, so I'll always have hers. I just wish she wasn't so fucking stupid.

Cradling my head in my hands, I try my best to think of what to do. I'm pretty sure she's on her way to kill Emily right now. If she goes over there and actually gets past Sam long enough to touch her, the council will shit themselves. They'll banish her.

One of our most important laws is that we protect human life at all costs; not destroy our own people.

Sure, Sam gets a free pass. He can scratch half her face off and still hold his Alpha title as long as he has an imprint to blame his crazy behavior on.

Sam. He'd kill Leah for hurting his imprint. He'd kill her for trying.

With a long groan of frustration I run my hands through my cropped hair. I know what I have to do now. I've got to go over there and make sure my sister doesn't hurt my cousin or get killed by Sam in attempt.

Hastily I make my way downstairs and head for the door.

"Hold it!" Mom shouts after me. What _now_?

I slowly turn around to face her sharp eyes and crossed arms.

"What is going on with you kids? Where are you off to?" she asks calmly.

"To keep my sister from getting herself killed. Thanks to you mentioning Jake in front of her."

"Oh, no. What have you told her?" she asks me, looking worried as ever. I can't help but wonder who she's worried for.

"I told her about Emily. She had a right to know," I say simply.

Throwing her arms up in frustration she says, "Seth, it wasn't Leah's business to know what happens between Emily and anyone else. You shouldn't have said anything."

"You have no idea how sick I am of hearing about Emily this and Emily that. I don't care about Emily. I care about my sister."

I feel like I'm the only one around who still does.

"Well, what does Emily's dealings with Jacob have to do with her?"

"You are so clueless when it comes to anything about Leah. Did you even know that she and Jake have got some kind of thing going on?"

Mom raises her hand to her mouth in surprise as she gasps. I can see the realization creep into her pupils as they dilate.

"But she's always been so hung up on Sam. How could I have known?"

"Well nobody knew until yesterday at the engagement party last night. But if you ever wanted to know anything about what's going on with Leah I think the most reasonable thing to do is _ask_ her. You know, shed some motherly concern."

Honestly, how clueless can you be?

"Have I really been that awful of a mother to you two? Am I really so neglectful?"

"No- Mom, you're not an awful mother. You just care so much about everyone else that it seems your priorities are a bit fucked."

She laughs, a soft chuckle of exasperation.

"Fucked. That seems to be the best word to describe this whole ordeal, doesn't it. It's all fucked."

I've got to laugh at this. I've never heard my mom toss an F-bomb in my entire life. With her being all "Language, language!" its pretty fucking funny hearing her talk like that.

As she sobers, her face tightens and becomes more serious.

"What haven't I been clued in on? How is she - really?"

"You want the full story?"

She nods.

"She's lost, Mom. It's obvious to everyone that breaking up with Sam changed her for the worst. But honestly, the things going on aren't her fault. Mom you don't know what it's like for her to get into Sam's thoughts all the time. It hurts her every day. But you know, she's been trying. She's dealing."

"I guess I just always thought she'd heal from that sooner or later. I hoped she would."

"Well all she can do is try. It's not easy. I get headaches and heartaches just from being phased with her."

"What else don't I know? You mentioned Sam earlier. You said he did something to Leah?"

"Mom, he tried to take advantage of her. He knows how he makes her weak. The bastard played into her weakness and tried to have sex with her in the fucking woods!"

"I don't believe that, Seth. He's the Alpha. He knows what responsibilities rest on his shoulders. We depend on him; the whole tribe. He wouldn't do that. He has an imprint!"

"He did do it, Mom! Our minds are all fucking linked. I saw it like I was right there with them. I got it from Jake, who got it from Leah herself!"

"But why? Why would he do that? Does he still have feelings for Leah? There's no other reason I can think of. He must still love her, then. But how? The imprint-"

"He used to love her. Not anymore. What he did yesterday was all about ego, testosterone, and male dominance. He wanted to teach Jake a lesson."

"And where does Jake fit into this?"

"I don't know. She's being all weird about him. They can't be a couple, or we'd all know. When she came home yesterday we were all surprised to smell Jake all over her. We could _smell_ her . . . ugh it's so gross talking about it. She smelled like sex, Mom."

With a pointed look she says, "And what do _you_ know about the way sex smells."

I give her a hard look. She can't be fucking with me right now.

"I'm part animal. I can smell everything," I say plainly, rolling my eyes.

Again, realization strikes somewhere inside her.

"Is that why Sam seemed so angry before I sent him outside?"

"Yes."

"Oh, dear Lord. This whole thing is making me sick," she says, shaking her head in disapproval.

"I don't know what she and Jake have got going on, but it isn't right. She told me that whatever it is, she instigated it with him. I just assumed she was acting out because of Sam's engagement to Emily. But I don't know anymore."

"She did seem very angry just now as she left."

"Angry? Mom, she's rabid. She's gonna hurt someone! I think she's going for Emily."

"Oh, no we can't have that," she says. I roll my eyes at her ever present concern for my cousin. I realize that I'm mistaken at her next words. "If anyone is going to pay, it's that fucker, Sam Uley." She speaks with a frightening finality that actually has me concerned for him. Mom never talks like this.

"If he thinks he's going to get away with pulling that crap, then he's got it all wrong. That's my little girl he's gone and messed with. All this time I've been led to believe that an imprint could force a man outside of himself. Now I know that he's just a selfish man. Not a man at all. He's completely succumbed to the dog. He let's the animal govern him."

"What happens now?" I ask. I've got the feeling that she has some sort of kick ass plan brewing up.

"You're going to go over to Sam's and make sure your sister doesn't do anything unforgivable. Prevent her from hurting anyone else at all costs. If she does, then, I can't protect her from the council."

"What are you going to do?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll meet you there. Go, now! Run!"

Without a second thought, I do as my mother says. I haul ass out the front door. Running as fast as I can I tear my clothes off and let them fall beside the trail of shreds my sister left behind. I transform into the beast and let my mind go blank. I need to find her. I close my eyes.

_Where are you, Lee?_

My mind is suddenly bombarded with images of a horrified Emily looking at me with complete terror. I am stalking around her. She is my prey and I can feel myself succumbing to the rage. I want her dead.

_Fuck! Lee, don't touch her!_ I shout at my sister mentally. I run full force to Sam's old shack and pray to the spirits I make it in time to save them both.

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><p><strong>Give some feedback, loves. (smooches)<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: You guys don't even know how much I appreciate all of you. To everyone who has faithfully reviewed, as well as the one timers, I just wanted to thank you. All of your thoughts and opinions mean a lot to me and seriously affect my writing process. I might be able to get the next chapter out either tonight or tomorrow morning. Love you all!**

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><p>There's a piercing howl in the distance. I can feel my brother's panic. I can feel his distress. He's called for the others.<p>

He's warned me not to touch this cowardice bitch who stands before me. I can smell her terror and it causes me to salivate. Kill.

I have to kill her.

_Leah stop it! She isn't worth it. Just leave her alone._

If I close my eyes I can see Seth as he makes his way to us. This has do be done quickly. One chomp on her jugular; just one, and this will be over. I will never be caused any more pain.

All of my pain stems from her. My mother loves her more than me. Sam loves her more than me. She went after Jacob to hurt me. I have to kill her. I _have_ to. Or the pain will never end.

Feeling the dirt sink beneath my paws with each deliberate step I take as I stalk around her, I am vaguely aware of my surroundings. All I see is her. She is my prey.

"Leah, please! Phase out. Let's talk."

She takes a cautious step backwards, toward her house. Her movement startles me and I take a leap forward and around her, blocking her path towards refuge. She will not escape me.

_Not another move, bitch! _I scream at her, only it translates as a harsh bark. I bare my fangs at her, unable to suppress the growl rumbling in my chest and coursing throughout my entire body. She yelps in fear.

_What the fuck is going on?_ Quil.

_What's she mad at her for __**now**__, jeez get a grip._ Embry.

They've fallen into step alongside my brother. They're coming for me.

_Don't start in on my sister or I'll claw your balls off. You have to help me save her. Got it, assholes?_ Seth says.

_Save her from what exactly? Seems like Emily's the one needs saving,_ Quil responds.

_From herself._

_And from Sam when he finds out,_ Embry jokes.

_Get the fuck out of my head! _I scream at them. The Pack Mind turns to muffled banter as I try my hardest to tune them out.

I need to focus. I need silence. I need her dead.

Preparing myself to lunge toward her, I snarl ferociously.

"LEAH!"

Of course. Ever her white knight. Fucking Sam.

I can see him in my peripheral standing tall past her trembling body. I can't take my eyes off of her; she could get away. She's my prey and she needs to die. I need to focus. I need to kill her!

He steps deliberately toward us.

"I am only going to say this once, and so help me God, Leah Clearwater I might _kill_ you if you defy me. Phase the fuck out. NOW!" He barks at me.

There is no Command, but the fear he instills in me is enough to knock me out of my fur and before I know what's what, I'm stark naked in the presence of my ex lover and his piece of shit fiance.

I run for it. With no direction or destination I run full force away from them. Catching stray twigs in the soles and balls of my feet, I ignore the splinters and run. I have no sense of time or distance, all I know is that I'm running and I can smell that my feet are bleeding. I don't care. I just keep pushing on.

I reach the edge of the forest and proceed onto the dirt road trail that leads away from Sam and Emily's home. I need to get as far as I can.

I keep on going. I'm not thinking. I'm not seeing. I'm just moving.

Had I been thinking or at least seeing, then my mom wouldn't have almost crashed our truck into a tree trying to swerve out of my way.

At hearing the slam of her breaks, I'm brought back to here and now. My heart pauses for a moment as I wait to hear the crash of the truck slamming into a nearby tree, but it never comes.

My mother bounds out of the truck and I can hear her call my name frantically as she runs over to me,

"Oh, Leah." She throws herself around me and wraps me up in a hug that would have crushed my lungs like a soda can if I were human. It was a mom hug and if I have to admit, it's just what the doctor ordered.

Then, I'm aware just how hard I've been running and my knees give in under the weight of my exhaustion and despair. I collapse to the ground and she pulls herself down right along with me.

She continues to hug me and kisses my filthy hair. She gathers as much of me as she can into her arms and begins to rock me back and forth, shushing me all the while. All of her ministrations are too much. When was the last time someone held me? When was the last time someone even touched me for my own gratification? Ages ago, it feels like. I can't take all of this comforting. I swat her arms away. I don't know why.

She doesn't stop, so I push her off of me.

"No! You don't get to be my mom right now. Just stop it!" I scream at her. Only, it came out as a long overdue sob, and before I know it, she's collecting me in her arms once more. She lets me cry and scream into her chest for god knows how much longer. We are both a mess on this dirt road as I can hear that she's crying too, whispering soft apologies and planting tearful kisses into my hair.

After a while we both sober down from our hysteria.

"I brought you some clothes. I'll get them from the car. Stay here, we're not alone."

My mother shuffles to her feet and briskly walks to the truck and takes some things out of the back seat, talking briefly with whoever she had in the car with her. . Before she returns to me, two more cars drive past and pull up next to my Mother's swerved truck, concerned for all of our safety apparently. I recognize one of the cars. It belongs to Paul's father. My mother motions to them to continue along the road and both cars speed onward.

She brings me the clothes and I quickly dress in the shorts, tee shirt, and flips flops she brought me. I notice that my feet are healed by now.

"We have to get going, baby," she says to me, distracting me from looking at my feet.

"What's going on?" I ask. My voice is hoarse. Too much screaming. Too much barking. Too much crying.

"I've called an emergency council meeting. Everyone, including your pack mates, is to report to the clearing in the woods in front of Sam and Emily's place. Come, we must go."

My mother pulls me, the urgency of the situation quite clear to me. She practically pushes me into the back seat and I am face to face with Old Quil who doesn't so much as smile at me.

"Miss Clearwater." He acknowledges me with a curt nod.

"Hello, Leah." Billy Black greets me from the front seat.

"Hi," is all I can manage to say to the both of them.

My mother clambers into the driver's seat and we take off back toward Sam's: the absolute last place I want to be.

I sink down into my seat and hug myself.

What the fuck is going on here?


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Wanted to get this out as soon as possible. **

**To the guest reviewer "TiGeRzYi":**

**Aw man, your reviews ALWAYS crack me up. Your anger towards these characters is really appreciated and I'm happy to rile you up. I promise you, Leah will have her redemption in one of these upcoming chapters. Thanks for your thoughts. Stay tuned babe.**

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><p>What ever this meeting is, I don't want any part in it. I don't want to see any of these criticizing faces. I don't want anyone's pity. I just want to leave. I want to take a shower and take my ass to sleep. I want to forget that any of these assholes even exist; if just for a few hours. I don't want to be here.<p>

All the wolves have gathered by now. The entire council is in attendance: my mother, Old Quil, Billy Black, Mr. Lahote, Mr. Cameron Sr., Mr. Littlesea, and Mr. Fuller. All of our parents or grandparents, basically. I wonder, can they banish me for wanting to kill the bitch. I mean, I never touched her. Knowing them, they'd find a way. I swear if I get fucked over at this emergency meeting, I'm taking her out so it'll at least be worth it.

Although I know he's here I refuse to lock eyes with Jacob. I don't even know what to say to him. I'm so pissed at him I doubt I'd even know where to begin.

We've gathered in a semblance of a circle; the council taking up one half, the pack occupying the other. Naturally, Emily and Sam are in my direct line of vision. He tucks his arm around her and she snuggles into him. I can tell that he's whispering a bunch of bullshit about everything turning out alright. I want to just gouge the both of their eyes out, honestly.

Old Quil clears his throat, drawing everyone's attention. We're all anxious. Apparently nobody knows why we have been summoned.

"I wish we could have all been called here today under more . . . respectable circumstances. Mrs. Clearwater has brought to our attention the shameful acts that have taken place within these past two days. We are here to cast judgment over the Warrior Pack of our tribe. It is our right, in the name of Taha Aki, to govern this pack as we collectively see fit for the protection and safety of this tribe. Does anyone disagree that it is the sole right of the Tribal Council to govern this pack, as we should so decide? If so, state your grievances now."

We are all silent. No one would dare to go against their will. It's like placing a target on your own forehead. Two days, he says? Shit. This _is_ all about me.

Billy Black wheels his chair to the center of the circle as he prepares to address us. He too, clears his throat.

"Mr. Uley, Miss Young, Miss Clearwater, Mr. Black; step forward so that the council may address you."

We all do as he says. Emily is sure to stay as far as she can from me. Good girl. I am in between Jacob and Sam on the account of the two of them not wanting to get too close to each other. The tension is palpable.

"Mr. Uley, do you know why we are all here?"

"No, sir."

"It has been brought to our entire attention that you have engaged in promiscuous actions concerning Miss Clearwater. In addition to that we also know that you have misused your title as Alpha to settle a discrepancy between yourself and Mr. Black. Do you deny these allegations?"

He bows his head shamefully, as he should.

"I don't, sir."

"Miss Young," he says rather sternly. She's startled to full attention.

"Y-yes sir?" she responds shyly.

"Do you deny that you intentionally provoked Miss Clearwater which resulted in her raged frenzy just moments ago?"

Sam whips his head to face his imprint. He doesn't know. Oh, how satisfying!

"No, sir. I did," she says avoiding Sam's questioning gaze.

"Then, by the will of the council, the pair of you will be evaluated and judged before these witnesses. Do either of you have anything to say for yourselves?"

"Mr. Black, Council members; I deeply apologize to all of you for my actions and for the actions of my imprint. I have already apologized to Leah, and she has miraculously forgiven me. I would like to apologize to my pack. I should have been a better leader and I vow to do better from this day onward. I willingly accept the Council's evaluation."

I appreciate his words. The man really does know how to take responsibility for himself.

Billy addresses Emily.

"And you, Miss Young?"

She looks like a scared ass puppy. She merely shakes her head no. Cowardice bitch.

Sam doesn't even look at her anymore. No one does. Even though they ask you if you have something to say or not, you're _supposed_ to apologize. Everyone knows that.

Billy sighs and rolls his chair back, falling in with the others.

Mr. Lahote speaks now. "If you will all just give us a moment to deliberate. We'll let you know what we have decided in a few moments."

The pack breaks out into whispered conversation. Everyone is concerned for our Alpha and his imprint, it seems. I'm just glad that I'm not the one on the spot here. Holy hell, what's going? The Council for once isn't on their knees with their mouths open before Sam. He'll actually be punished. I never thought I'd see the day.

Sam actually walks over to me. What could he want to talk about now? I see Jacob walk over to Emily. He puts his hand on her shoulder and whispers some form of reassurance that makes her smile a bit and nod her head in understanding. The sight makes me sick.

"Leah, I'm so sorry for all of this. I didn't know things could get so serious."

"None of us did. It's not entirely _your_ fault we're here anyway," I seethe, staring daggers at Emily.

"You ran away before I had a chance to talk to you. What were you thinking coming to my house and threatening Emily. I could have lost it. I could have snapped and really hurt you."

"I wasn't thinking much about all of that, Sam. And you didn't, so we're all good here," I say icily.

"I would never forgive myself if I hurt you," he breathes. He's looking at me like he was this morning in my room. He's looking at me like he loves me, and I can't deal with all the truth in his eyes right now. For a brief moment I wish he was easy to hate again.

"It's over. I'm fine. She's fine," I mutter.

"I still don't understand! What has Emily done? Why were you going to attack her?" He fists his cropped hair in frustration. He needs to be filled in and I swear I'm not going to be the one to open that can of worms.

What if he loses it in front of the Council? His sentence would be more harsh. What if he goes after Jacob? I'll admit I'd love to see Sam kick his ass, but not here. Not now. No, I can't tell him.

That'll give Emily some time to stew in her own guilt anyway.

I look over to her again, still interacting with Jacob. I scowl.

"Let her tell it. I'm done with the both of you, honestly. You deserve each other. Have a happy life with her," I say as I take several steps back. I turn abruptly, dismissing any more of this conversation. I'm so fucking done with the both of them.

Turning sharply I am faced with my brother. Oh, Seth!

"You were trying to save me," I say.

"Of course I was, sis. I knew something was going to happen. Not this, but whatever it was I knew I couldn't let them take you down with them. I'm glad you listened to Sam and got out of there before it turned into a bloodbath, lord knows the rest of us couldn't catch up to you in time."

I pull him into a fierce hug and kiss him hard on his cheeks. It still amazes me that now I have to tiptoe just to hold him like this.

"Thank you, baby brother."

"Hey, I'm not a baby anymore. When you gonna learn? And no need to thank me. I love you. I'm always on your side no matter how much of a dumbass you are."

"I guess I am a dumbass, aren't I?" I laugh. "I love you too, Sethy."

Old Quil once again clears his throat, calling our attention to him. The four of us take our places in the center of the almost circle.

"We have come to a unanimous decision after careful deliberation. Miss Young, you have been ordered to leave your place of residence on this reservation immediately and you are to return to your home reservation of Makah. You are not to return here for at least a year. At that time you will be reevaluated and we will collectively decide whether or not you have redeemed yourself. Is that understood?"

"But- Mr. Ateara, please! My imprint is here; you can't banish me. Auntie Sue, please say something!" She begs my mother. Seriously?

"The decision is unanimous, dear," my mother says plainly. Her face does well to mask anything she may be feeling.

"But-!"

"Silence, child!" Old Quil is cold as he interrupts her. Any common dumbass would know not to question him. I know she isn't from here but jeez she needs to get with the program. "Do not speak of imprints here when you do not know how to cherish one."

I hear a few sharp gasps in surprise. Sam clenches his jaw. The veins in his temples begin to pulsate. He really doesn't have a clue. Nobody does. Old Quil turns slightly to address Sam.

"Samuel Uley, you have been stripped of your title as Alpha of the Quileute Warrior Pack. You are to be immediately replaced by the rightful Alpha of this tribe, Mr. Jacob Black whether he _wants his position or not_." He eyes Jacob pointedly. Jacob kicks the dirt at his feet as he shoves his hands deep into his pockets. Old Quil continues. "While you do not understand the sanctity of the imprint, the rest of us here do. We will not separate you from your imprint. You may leave with her, should you wish. You may leave at any time. You may return at any time. You may take a place within this pack or you may join the brothers of Makah, however you will never serve as Alpha as you have been deemed unfit. The decision is yours. Do you understand?"

"I do, sir," he chokes out. If you could only see the anguish on his face. I feel bad for the guy. The judgment is harsh, but he should have known not to step out of line. Even he isn't immune to their wrath. But jeez, to make the guy choose between his imprint or his home and his brothers? That fucking blows.

Old Quil continues his sentencing. He starts in on Jacob.

"Jacob Black, you are to accept your new title. Should you refuse us again you may feel free to join Miss Young and Mr. Uley. In addition to your banishment, Mr. Cameron will be assigned your position. Understood?"

Jacob squares his jaw and nods. He looks pissed. Hell I would be too. Who wants to be responsible for a pack of fuck ups anyway?

"Do you accept your title?"

"Yeah," Jacob says.

Finally, he gets to me.

"Miss Clearwater, there will be no further interpack relations. Do you see the disruptions your actions have caused?"

"Yes, sir, I do. And I apologize to the Council. It won't happen again."

"I should hope not. We expect you to set more respectable examples as the new beta of this pack. If you or anyone else disagrees with the decisions made here tonight I am sure Makah has plenty of space for any number of you. Am I understood?"

"Yes," I bite out. They're making _me_ the fucking beta? Under Jake? Fucking _fuck_! I'd gladly take the exile but that means sharing another reservation with that whore bag. No thanks. If she has to go, I'll stay my ass here and help this asshole run our pack.

"Does anyone have any issues with what the council has ordered?" Everyone is silent. All that can be heard is Emily's muffled cries and sniffles. Oh get the fuck over it. She should be counting her blessings. I never got to kill her. And she's been ordered to live far as hell away from me. She should be jumping for joy.

"Let me take this time to remind all of you of your responsibilities. The markings on your forearms represent an eternal bond. You are all a family now with one shared task: protecting this tribe. You are to protect your elders and your young ones just as your predecessors have done for you. Any disruption in the equilibrium of the pack will be eliminated. We cannot have personal drama interfering. We _will_ not allow it. Take this in warning, all of you.

"This meeting is adjourned. I hope the next time we are gathered we have more pleasant things to discuss. Miss Young, you have until tomorrow's nightfall to gather your belongings. I implore all of you young people to be mindful and make better decisions. Until next time."

He turns his back to us allowing us to leave and get on with our nights.

Holy fuck that was intense, to say the least. My head is clouded. I'm completely mind fucked. I need to get my ass home. I begin to walk over to where my mother and Seth have come together.

A firm hand is brought to my shoulder and stops me in my tracks. Jacob.

"We need to talk about this. Meet me at my house in an hour, _beta_." His voice is husky and dark and immediately doing the same things to me that got us all in this fucking mess. In all of the drama of tonight and last night. The sexual tension building inside of me is still thick as ever. After I turned his ass down _twice_. Fuck, fuck, fuck! My body's betrayed me again. I can feel the wetness pooling already.

He inhales deeply. "That's an order," he adds. Did he just get sexy with me? Fuck.

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><p><strong>*cough cough* <strong>

**Still need a beta "/**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So I can imagine how much you all hate me. My excuse is the same as anyone else's. Real life really knows how to get in the way of a girl's creativity. I've had writer's block for nearly a year. Seriously 11 months ago was my last update. And I'm so ashamed. Thank restlessxpen for updating her stories after a long long hiatus as well. Her writing seriously inspires and motivates me. I read her work and at the first chance I got, I was able to get this chapter out for you guys.**

**Forgive me?**

**Happy reading, my darlings.**

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><p>The meeting dissolves. Everyone separates into groups of two or three and head to wherever they're headed next. Emily goes into her house which won't be her home anymore come this time tomorrow. Sam stands in front of the house, strong arms crossed, and watches everyone set off. No one makes a move toward him in the seriousness of his dilemma. Sometimes a wolf just needs his space. I mean, he was thoroughly embarrassed tonight. We can all understand that he doesn't want to talk. Well, I sure as hell don't want to talk to him, but I can see that Jared and Paul wanted to. They decided against it and left together. Seth leaves with Embry.<p>

My mother comes up behind me and places her hand on my shoulder.

"Leah, honey, why don't you ride home with me? We'll drop Billy and Mr. Ateara home first. Then we can both go home and try to forget any of this ever happened."

"As lovely as a car ride with half of the council sounds, I'll pass."

"You're still going to swipe at me every time I speak to you? I really tried to pull through for you today. You complain that I'm never on your side and I arranged for the two people who cause you so much pain to be punished for their crimes against you. Can't I get a little credit? I'm trying to make up for my part in hurting you too. This was all for you, so that you can start to heal." I could tell how sincere she was.

"Okay, I'm sorry for being rude. I appreciate that you set all this up for me. But the hurt doesn't just go away in a matter of minutes, I'm still really upset at all of you. And I'll never forget this. This chapter of my life will probably haunt me until I die. But, thank you, Mom. I love you. And that won't go away either."

"Can I get something off my chest, Lee?"

"You've got a secret? Well do share, mother," I reply playfully.

"There's a reason I treated Emily with such high regard. See, a long time ago, when I wasn't much younger than you, a young wolf imprinted on me. He declared his love for me in the middle of the road in the middle of a storm. I had no idea who he was. It was so cold, freezing almost. And all I knew was that when he touched my hand for the first time all I could feel was his warmth, and his protection, and his strength. And something deep inside me told me that he wasn't just some crazy guy walking around topless in the middle of a storm. I knew there was something more to him. We seemed to have both known that we'd meet again. And we did."

"Dad?"

"Yes. Dad. I saw so much more of him after that. Bumping into him at the market, at the beach, by the cliffs, all over the place."

"You were strangers when he imprinted? But didn't everyone know everyone? This reservation isn't that big."

"I didn't grow up here. My mother died when I was a child, as you know. I moved to Makah to stay with my grandmother. I was raised there. My little sister, Lizzy, moved away to pursue her education. So it was up to me to come back to look after our aging father. Lizzy came home for a school break. She told me about some jerk who broke her heart. Broke up with her over the telephone while she was away. I told her about some crazy, half naked guy who charmed me in the middle of a storm."

"It was the same guy. It was Daddy."

"It was. None of us knew that we were in a triangle. It didn't take me long at all to fall for your father. We dated for a few weeks and as far as I knew he was mine and I was his. I always thought it was strange that he never wanted to go to my place, or his, or bring me around his friends. Of course he eventually told me that he was a wolf and he tried to keep me away from all personal aspects of his life so that I wouldn't be exposed to any of it. After he told me all his secrets he was finally ready to bring me around the people closest to him. He introduced me as his girlfriend at a beach bonfire. My sister was there, as they had all the same friends. Shit hit the fan after that."

I fake a gasp. "Language, Mom!"

She snorts at my humor and continues.

"She accused me of stealing her boyfriend as soon as she moved away to school. Called me a lot of things similar to the names you like to call Emily. She never forgave me. She moved to Makah after that, finished her education and became a nurse, met a man, had a little baby named Emily and refused to let me back into her life. On her deathbed she said she'd forgive me if I promised to love her daughter as if she were my own. And I've been holding my end of that deal ever since. The rest is history. And as you can see, history likes to repeat itself."

Oh. My. God. This is so crazy. My parents? In a love triangle. Just like what happened to me.

"Wow. Quite the soap opera. I don't even know what to say. It makes a lot of sense to me though. Explains why you always showed her so much sympathy. You guys are the same," I replied.

"No, we are not the same. I didn't date your father behind anyone's back, and I certainly never did anything to intentionally hurt my sister after that. If she were alive I'm sure she'd disagree that you and Seth were born just to further hurt her. But no, I loved my sister. I truly wanted to make amends. But she wouldn't let me. And now she's gone. And I missed out on a lifetime of loving her like a sister should all because she was too stubborn to let the past be the past. I didn't want you and Emily to lead the same lives that my sister and I did. Because she's the closest thing you have to a sister. And you're the closest thing she has too. But I know now that she's something different altogether and I couldn't blame you for estranging yourself from her."

"Is that why Aunt Liz was always so bitchy toward me? I hated visiting at Emily's house when we were kids. She treated me like Cinderella."

"Yeah, you look a lot like your father, Lee. I'm sorry. I remember you used to complain about your Auntie not liking you. We stopped sending you to visit. You and Emily were so close, though, she just started coming over here instead. So there you have it. That's my secret and my explanation. I was trying to make things up to my sister by caring for her daughter. My perspective has been a bit flawed. So, I'm sorry, honey. And I hope you can forgive me one day."

"I will. One day, mom. I'm glad you told me. Go on home I'll catch up later," I assure her.

"And where are you going?" She inquires, her interest piqued.

"For a run. I need to think." That's not an entire lie. She'll let me run with it.

"Leah," she says as she hesitates to leave me just yet.

"Yeah, Mom," I answer.

"Try to make good decisions. Please. I know you're going through a lot. But you need to take this time to get your head straight and be smart about things from here on out. Understand?"

Oh yeah I understand. I'm not fooling her. She knows exactly where I'm about to go. Gotta love that ever present mother's intuition.

"Sure, sure. I'll be smart. Later. Mom."

Before she has a chance to drag this conversation out any further I set off into the woods. I need some time alone to think about what's about to happen. What will I say? What will he say?

I don't want to know, but I'm so curious at the same time. I don't want to see him, yet I'm so excited.

Part of me is thankful that I don't have a choice in the matter. I'd drive myself further insane if I were given the option to decide for myself. And the last thing we need here is any more insanity, am I right, or am I right?

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><p><strong>AN: Hopefully everyone can now have the clarity they need in terms of Sue's motives and intentions. Can we all forgive her now? <strong>

**We can't hate Mom forever, can we?**

**Now I'm off to figure out how in the hell I'm going to have this Jacob confrontation pan out. **

**This is so frustrating. But I'm will NOT give up on this story. I have to finish it. For myself. I've never finished a chapter story. And dammit I am determined!**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Okay my loves. I just wanted to clarify something from last chapter as some of you wasted no time telling me how much Sue's little story pissed you off lol.**

**The thing here that I was trying to get across with Sue was that she had no idea about the whole imprint deal or the fact that Harry had belonged to her sister at one point. **

**As far as Sue knew she had just met a guy in the street and fell for **  
><strong>him over time. They were in love already by the time her sister had come home from school. <strong>

**And by the time everything came to light it was too late. Sue couldn't be expected to just fall out of love just because now everyone knows what the facts are. That's like a big part of my story. That when u love someone it doesn't go away because the circumstances around u have changed. Sue couldn't simply decide "okay well we can't be together anymore now that I know my sister loves you." And Liz in my opinion was wrong in that situation. She didn't give her sister a chance at all to explain and just up and left the reservation at the first chance she could get. Then ignored her sister for the rest of her life and then as she was dying manipulated Sue into feeling responsible for Emily. Manipulative mom, manipulative Emily. **

**Sue is different from Emily. Emily knew all about Sam and Leah. She did everything she did knowing she would hurt Leah and she played the victim to Sue because she knew (through her mother's bashing and badmouthing throughout the years) that Sue went through the same thing and struggled with attaining that forgiveness she always wanted. So Emily basically manipulated Sue and Sam and pushed Leah to the side. **

**I don't really pay attention to how the books tell the story, in my mind the wolf gene has been passed from father to son since the days of Taha Aki. Which means that Harry's and Billy's generation and their father's and so forth all had their days as wolves. They stopped phasing so that they could age with their imprints. Once they stopped phasing, the longer they remain human, the less supernatural they become. So, say Harry hadn't phased since Leah was an infant and for 20 years he lived his life as a human. He becomes way less strong and way more susceptible to trivial human problems. So he sees his daughter phase for the first time and then has a heart attack. He no longer has the wolf to keep him strong. So he dies.**

**Its kind of hard to explain but basically the way I imagine it is that when a wolf chooses to stop phasing, he begins to age and then eventually will go back to being human, losing all his supernatural strength. **

**So I hope you guys can now understand how I see Sue and Emily share a similar story, but are different in character.**

**Without further ado, here's your new chapter.**

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><p>So, I've been ordered to meet Jacob. Most of the hour he's given me to get to his house has been wasted with my mom. I've spent the rest of this time pacing around in the woods thinking about everything she said and also trying to picture how this inevitable conversation will go with my new Alpha. Each scenario ends with him on top of me doing nasty, nasty things. Gosh, I'm hopeless. I'm thoroughly pissed at the asshole. Seth said he saw in his mind that he kissed Emily. And she admitted to doing so just to piss me off. So, this kiss did in fact happen and that's reason enough for me to want to castrate him.<p>

But, is that really a good reason? I turned _him_ down. He doesn't belong to me, and I don't belong to him. Why should I care who he kisses?

Emily was a different case. She thinks Jake and I have something together. Everyone thinks we do. So she went after him thinking she could take yet another man away from me. Then she had my mother pick her up and take her to Makah so she could wish at that age old fountain and most likely give as much space between herself and Sam as she could. I bet the guilt was eating at her soul. She cheated on her imprint. She couldn't have been too happy with herself.

Okay, so after she had a little time there Sam caught up with her, and my mother felt it was alright to go home since Emily had him to bring her home. So, Mom comes home. Sam takes Emily back and she decides not to tell him about Jake. All the while Sam is thinking that she ran from him for being with me when she was actually running from her own guilt. She let him believe that and was probably going to take the truth with her to the grave. That is, until the council exposed her.

But, I mean, how long did she think she could hide that? It was bound to come up in Jake's thoughts and one of the rest of us would have caught wind. Sam would have found out inevitably. She must not have thought it through. She's really dumb.

Does her need to make me miserable really overpower her love for Sam? This whole thing is making me take the whole idea of imprinting for a joke. What's the sense in an eternal bond linking two souls when they can just cheat on each other on a whim? They really do deserve each other.

Sorry, I'm just trying to get this into perspective. None of this makes sense to me. But I guess it is what it is and there's no understanding those two idiots.

What I also can't put my finger on is why Jake would have wanted to kiss her at all. He can't be attracted to her. He just cant be. As far as any of us know, he's only ever spoken to her cordially at camp fires, and fish fries, and barbeques. He always regarded her as Sam's imprint: nothing more than that.

Oh my God, as if the answer isn't right in my fucking face. He was turned down twice by me, not to mention by the leech lover, Swan, all in the same day.

He goes for Swan and gets punched in the face. I go for him and pull the rug from under his feet. Then he goes for me and I completely disregard his feelings. Emily comes around and by now he's a full grown shapeshifting virgin with all this pent up aggression toward me and toward Sam, and Bella. Who in the fuck would turn down a whore that comes onto them after all of that. I sure as hell wouldn't have if I were him. And what a glorious way to stick it to Sam after he completely violated Jake as a man? I understand now, I really do.

I'm not thrilled about it, but at least I found myself some clarification.

All of this shit is making my head hurt.

I can feel something deep, deep within me urging me to start the walk toward Jake's. It's about that time. My hour's almost up.

I start to move my feet before they start moving themselves. I am in a clearing in the woods not too far from where he lives. It takes just a few minutes to get there.

Despite everything I was feeling and all that I wanted to ask him, I decided against it. All the bullshit of tonight, today, last night, yesterday, just further confuses me. And confusion gives me a bad attitude. So for once in my life, I'm not going to demand answers, and provoke an argument. I'll let him explain everything to me in his own way without up sniping back and forth at each other. Everything is what it is and while some things can't be taken back and other things can't be controlled, I just can't allow anything else to go wrong. I'm in control of my own actions, right? We can talk about everything that's happened like two civil adults. I can be calm, and quiet, and, passive. Right? Right.

_It's all good, Lee. Just let him say what he has to say and then take your ass right home. _

I head toward the garage because I know that's where he spends most of his time. The rabbit is parked just outside the garage entrance. I'm sure he can smell me coming, but I speak aloud to make my presence known anyway.

"I'm here! What do you want, Black?" I say quite loudly.

He's not here. But he was. Not very long ago, I conclude as I sniff around his tool box. He was here a few minutes ago. Am I really gonna have to go inside his house, sniffing after him like a fucking pup? No way. He wanted me here and I came. The least he could do was greet me at the door.

I stood at the entrance to his garage and awaited his arrival. Hour's up. He's late. I can feel the annoyance brewing. But I'm determined to keep calm.

I close my eyes and try to sniff him out a little more. See if I can sense which direction he's in, but the harder I smell the more I lose his scent because of one small little detail. It's masked, by the scent of something sickly sweet. So sweet it's almost sour and I'm immediately repulsed. Leech. If there were a leech here, though, that nasty scent would have smacked me in the face miles back. So there's only one explanation.

"Oh, you scared me. I wasn't expecting anyone to be down here. Hi, I'm Bella." As if on cue Bella Fucking Swan emerges from the side entrance that connects Jacob's garage to his kitchen. We haven't had the pleasure of officially meeting. She offers a hand shake that I can't bring myself to return.

"You're Leah, right? I've heard a lot about you," she continues on awkwardly letting her hand fall to her side.

"Where's Jacob?" I ask, skipping the pleasantries. I don't like this girl. I blame her for everything. She's just a fucking leech magnet and if it weren't for that my father would be alive and life would be just a little less miserable for the rest of us. But nobody chooses to acknowledge that little detail. And here she is all cheerful and smiling all polite like we don't know how much of a manipulative little cunt she is. I hate her fucking guts. And every time Jacob let's her onto our territory I can't help but feel a little betrayed. He owes his loyalty to his tribe, yet he devotes it to a leech lover. I will never understand.

"He's, uh, in the shower. He didn't mention that you'd be coming over. Are you coming with us?"

It's shit like this. The way she feels like he should have mentioned my coming over to her. It's none of her fucking business. I let her know.

"It's pack business."

"Pack business? As in . . . you're? No way, you're one of them too? But you're a girl."

Jacob hasn't mentioned to his dearly beloved that I'm part of the pack too? I'm his fucking sister for crying out loud. I'm offended.

"Yeah. Your regular freak of nature."

"Wow, that's amazing! Well hey, I'm having a graduation party in two days and any pack member of Jacob's is a friend of mine and I'd love for you to come."

Did she just call us friends? Lord, get her out of my face before I get real rude here.

"I'll pass," I say.

"Oh, uh, well okay. The invitation still stands if you change your mind," she says, that awkward tension ever present.

Jacob chooses this exact moment to announce his presence as he enters the garage too sporting the pack's signature cutoff shorts and 6 pack, muscles rippling in his biceps and all as he towel dries his sopping wet hair.

The way Bella starts to eye fuck him doesn't go over my head. I can see the color start to fill her cheeks as she watches him approach us. He did look absolutely delectable, but just who in the fuck does she think she is ogling my Alpha like this?

"I'm here, Jake. What do you want?"

"Walk with me," he says, headed toward me as I stand in the threshold of his garage and his dirt path driveway. "Hey just hang out here a minute Bella, Leah and I have some things to discuss."

"Yeah, sure," she replies as we make our way out the garage, and out of her earshot.

"Why did you Command me here?" I demanded to know.

"I Commanded you here because I need us to have an understanding before we can run this pack together. I'm not looking forward to us having to work together any more than you are, so I'll just get straight to the point. Stay out of my way, I'll stay out of yours."

He surprises me. I wasn't expecting that to be the first thing out of his mouth. I'll admit his bluntness kind of stings. He continues without a response from me as my surprise has rendered me speechless.

"There are nine of us; ten if Sam chooses to stay, but for now we'll count him out until he comes to me and tells me that he's decided to stay here. We'll split the pack down the middle for patrol: me, Jared, Paul, Embry, and Collin. Then that leaves you with Seth, Quil, and Brady. If Sam decides to stay with us, then I'll take him in my group and you'll take Jared. I can't have you two working close together. And I've chosen Paul for my group because I know you two don't get along well."

"Um, thanks?' I say dumbly. This conversation is not going how I thought it would at all.

"It's not for your benefit, it's for the sake of the pack. We'll alternate shifts every other day. You can decided who patrols during the day and who patrols at night in your group and I'll decide the same for mine. We'll give the pack tomorrow off so that we can all just adjust to the idea of this change that was forced on us, and by tomorrow night, we'll know what Sam decides to do. So probably the following day we'll announce the split whole group thing. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"Good. See you in two days."

"Wait, that's it?

"Was there supposed to be something else?"

"Uh, yeah! Aren't we gonna talk about everything that just went down. And what happened last night between you and Emily?"

"Nope."

"Well why not?" I can feel my irritation brewing.

"Because what I did with Emily isn't your business."

"Like fuck it isn't!" So much for calm and passive. "She came onto you to try to get to me. I was going to attack her!"

"Yeah? Well that sounds like a personal problem that you ought to go deal with." He spat my own words from last night verbatim right back at me. And with that he shoved past me, beckoned for Bella, took her hand in his and helped her into his car. They drove away and left me standing in the dust with my jaw on the floor in complete shock.

What the fuck just happened?

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><p>AN: I fought with this chapter and this was the cause of my writers block that prevented me from updating this story for nearly a year. I had originally written this chapter as a big ass argument between Jake and Leah, where Jake just completely abuses his power as Alpha and Commands her to admit she may have some feelings for him, while at the same time confessing how much he wants her and then I had planned for them to finally do the do. But it seemed so rushed and I ended up completely hating it. And literally for almost a year I let that damned chapter just sit on my laptop. And I'd revisit it every few weeks or so but I just couldn't make it work.<p>

So here you have it. The rewritten version where Jacob isn't a pussy and he's not gonna let Leah walk all over him. He doesn't owe her a damned thing and he's actually really pissed at her.

Why? I guess we'll have to wait and find out. Im off work in two days, I'll try to get it to you guys then.

I love you alllllll!

Review! Review! Review!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo


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